


Coffee Shop Blues

by Aneonmoose



Series: AC/DC AUs [1]
Category: AC/DC, Bangus, The Darkness (Band) - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Character Death, Cussing, Drug Abuse, F/F, F/M, Homosexuality, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), Smoking, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-04-17 12:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 29,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4666473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aneonmoose/pseuds/Aneonmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angus sees Bon in his coffee shop every day, ordering the same thing. Angus knows it's pathetic to fall in love with a guy who doesn't remember his existence when he leaves, but he can't help himself. After all, Bon's everything you could want.</p>
<p>Bon got engaged, which he deeply regrets. He thought that it would take his mind off the gorgeous barista in his favorite café but, unsurprisingly, all it did was complicate everything. His fiancée seems a bit wary anyway.</p>
<p>The two men get sucked into an affair with seemingly no way out and Bon has to wonder if it really is a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alicelddel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alicelddel/gifts).



**December 12th**

**London, UK**

**Blue Moon Café**

**Angus**

 

Bon Scott is by far the most attractive man I've ever seen and, trust me, I've seen many. He comes in almost every day and always orders the same thing - a latte macchiato with a dash of vanilla. He flashes a flirty smile at me each time, though we haven't really talked much. He never stays in the shop so I cherish every moment I get with him.

He hasn't come in yet but it's still early. I serve customers without much enthusiasm until I see his curly mane of hair appear at the back of the queue. As he moves closer, I see he's wearing a new, black suit and my breath hitches in my throat. Jamie, my manager and one of my close friends, notices and snickers, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I glare at her and she giggles. Rolling my eyes, I took a deep breath and smiled as he came up to the till.

"Hi! The usual?" I asked and he nodded, his eyes strangely distant. Sighing, I made his drink, scribbling a smiley face onto the cup. He chuckled softly when he noticed it but I could tell it wasn't genuine. We briefly made eye contact but then he lowered his head and walked away. However, to my surprise, he took a seat at one of the tables instead of leaving like he usually did.

"Hey Ang." Jamie nudged me with her elbow and gestured in his direction. "He looks sad. You should go talk to him." I shook my head, pretending to clean out the coffee filters.

"I don't understand you, Angus. How do you expect anything to happen if you're not gonna take the initiative?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips. I sighed again, turning to face her.

"Nothing's gonna happen anyway, Jamie. He's straight."

"Have you asked?"

"...No."

"Fucking Christ, Ang." She threw her hands in the air in exasperation. I crossed my arms defensively.

"What? I haven't got a chance with him anyway."

"You're ridiculous." Jamie walked over to the till to serve a blonde girl that had just come in. I handed her a chocolate frappuccino and she walked over to Bon's table, sitting across from him. When he saw her, he brightened up and flashed her a smile that was just a bit too wide. She leaned over and they kissed, although he didn't seem as enthusiastic as she was. I bit my lip and looked away, my eyes filling with tears. I blinked them away and started refilling the syrup dispensers, desperately trying to seem unaffected. Jamie placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You okay?" She whispered. I nodded and ran a hand through my hair.

"I need a smoke." I looked at her pleadingly and she sighed.

"Go on, take your time." I smiled at her gratefully and quickly stepped outside, taking a cigarette from the packet with shaky hands and lighting it, taking a hungry drag of the smoke. I leaned against the wall of the shop, sighing. It was cold outside and the heavy clouds hanging low in the sky threatened rain but I ignored it, relishing in the numbness that nicotine brought. I knew this was pathetic. I mean, how else can you describe someone falling in love with a guy who barely knows you exist? I tricked myself into thinking we could have something but I should have known that wasn't true. He's clearly straight, has a girlfriend and is way too good for someone like me. Jamie was always trying to help, ever since she noticed me checking him out last year, but there was no point.

I can't help being in love with him. He's truly perfect. Everything about him is perfect - his laughter, his smiles, his dreamy green eyes, his curly hair, his body, his voice... His girlfriend was pretty too. They belonged together and I shouldn't be jealous, yet I was.

When I stepped back into the shop, Bon and the girl were laughing at something, completely engrossed in each other. I looked down and rushed over to Jamie, who was flirting with Hope, my roommate. She blushed and walked away when she saw me and Jamie watched her leave, clearly checking out her ass. I grinned at her and took her place at the till.

"Isn't her butt just perfect?" I shrugged.

"It's... alright." Jamie chuckled and started gathering the cups off the tables. I zoned out into a daydream about Bon until she came up to me, giggling. "What're you laughing at?"

"Look at what your boyfriend left at the table." I glanced over and noticed they were indeed gone. Jamie handed me a scrap of notebook paper. I folded it and put it in my pocket, deciding to read it when I was alone, but I couldn't stop the goofy smile from forming. He noticed me.

_Good God, I am so unbelievably pathetic._


	2. Two

**December 13th**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

 

When I arrived at home, I dropped my messenger bag on the ground, kicked my shoes off and took the note out of my pocket, unfolding it, while simultaneously lighting a cigarette.

_Hey! Sorry we didn't get to chat too much today. I was a bit distracted because of my upcoming wedding... But, if you wanna chew me out for it, here's my number: 020 36243600. Sorry again! - Bon_

At first, I couldn't believe it. I walked over to the window, opening it to let the smoke out but I couldn't take my eyes off it. Did he really just give me his number? Of course, my enthusiasm was cut short when it hit me - he's getting married. I sighed, crumpled it and dropped it to the floor, staring blankly out the window. I could pursue a friendship but I'd want more. It would be painful for everyone involved.

I finished my smoke and threw the butt into an ashtray, making my way over to the couch. Sighing again, I fell onto it and covered my face with my hands, slowly drifting into a restless slumber.

::: ::: :::

"Ang!" Hope, my roommate and best friend, shook me awake. I opened my eyes and looked at her blankly before I realised she'd heard me dreaming about Bon.

"Oh shit." I mumbled, sitting up. Hope smirked.

"Who's this Bon?" She asked. I bit my lip.

"No one important."

"Yeah, makes sense. He's completely unimportant so you had a dream about him. And he gave you his number."

"It doesn't matter. He's getting married."

"Well... Maybe you can still get him. You're better than some blonde bimbo."

"I'm - Wait, how do you know she's blonde?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Um... I was guessing...?" She mumbled, averting her gaze.

"No you weren't."

"Okay, fine. I know them."

"Oh my God." I felt my cheeks go scarlet and I fell back, covering my face with my hands.

"Irene is a real bitch." Hope tried to comfort me but it didn't work.

"No, she's not. She made him laugh and he looked happy. They're clearly in love. I don't stand a chance. I'm short, still practically a teenager and I'm unattractive. She's pretty, cute and funny. And tall. _And_ a female."

"Bon Scott is not straight, Ang." She smirked, getting up to get some bourbon. "And," she continued, pouring the amber liquid into a glass, "You're not that short and she's not that tall."

"I am short. Even you're taller than me."

"Yeah, yeah." She took a sip of the bourbon and sat beside me. "You've still got a chance. They're getting married next month."

"I'm not going to break up their relationship, Hope. I just have to deal with it." I sighed deeply, taking out a cigarette and rolling it between my fingers.

"Hey, uh... Is Jamie single?"

"Yeah." I smiled.

"Awesome." Hope grinned but caught my eye and her smile fell.

"Angus, I'm really sorry. Had you acted on it earlier... But can't you still be friends?"

"I'd always want more. It would never work."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault." I put the cigarette in my mouth and lit it, finding no comfort in it this time.

::: ::: :::

**December 14th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

 

When my alarm rang at 6:00am the following morning, my eyes were already open. I had been staring at the ceiling for almost an hour, trying to figure this mess out. I barely slept because every time I closed my eyes, I saw him. I sighed and got up, making the bed before heading towards the bathroom.

I took a quick shower, brushed my teeth and dried my hair, all while thinking of Bon. I put on a blue t-shirt and black skinny jeans with my beloved blue high tops. While drinking my tea, I spotted the crumpled paper on the ground and picked it up, putting the number into my phone. Then, I put a cigarette in my mouth and rushed out the door, hoping to get to work before Jamie.

::: ::: :::

I arrived at work to see Bon standing in front of the locked door. I arched an eyebrow as I took out my keys.

"Is that how badly you're craving coffee?" He sighed.

"No. You didn't call..." I froze with my key in the lock.

"You actually wanted me to call?"

"No, I gave you my number because I didn't want to talk to you." I rolled my eyes, opening the door. He stepped inside and crossed his arms as I turned the lights on and took all the chairs off the tables.

"Seriously, not that I'm not happy to see you but what are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to see you." I tried to hide my blush by lowering my head.

"Why? You don't even know me." As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to kick myself.

"I'd like to."

"Did Hope say anything to you?"

"Hope? No, I haven't spoken to her in a week." I sighed.

"Look, Bon... I'd like to get to know you better but..."

"Oh, alright. You don't like me. That's fine." He muttered, walking away.

"No! That's not what I meant!" I called as he was halfway through the door but he just shook his head.

"No, I get it. Bye, Angus." The door slammed and I sat down on a chair, hands over my face as tears streamed down my cheeks.

_I've fucked up again. I pushed him away instead of bringing him closer._


	3. Three

**December 14th**

**London, UK**

**Blue Moon Café / Stellata Park**

**Angus**

 

I couldn't concentrate at work, barely managing to get orders right. At lunch, when I was standing outside, smoking, Jamie walked up to me.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I nodded.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, Ang, you've been kinda distracted today. Did something happen?"

"Nope, nothing. I'm perfectly okay."

"Right..." She replied, reaching into my pocket to take my lighter.

"What do you need that for? You don't smoke."

"You're not getting it back until you tell me what's wrong." I rolled my eyes, taking a long drag of the smoke.

"Bon came in early today. Said he was disappointed I didn't call. I replied that he didn't even know me. He left, saying that if I didn't like him, he understands."

"I _don't_ understand your problem here, Angie." Jamie mumbled after a while of silence. I stared at her, incredulous.

"Are you serious?!"

"You've still got his number, right?" I nodded, still staring at her. "Yeah, well, he wants you to call and you wanna fix this. So call him, ask him out somewhere and _fix it._ "

"He hates me."

"He fucking doesn't. Christ almighty, Angus, you make a huge problem out of everything. Take initiative for once!" She exclaimed and walked back into the shop. I sighed and looked inside to see her waving my lighter at me. I rolled my eyes and took out my phone, tapping out a quick message.

_Hey Bon, it's Angus. I'm sorry about what happened earlier... Want to go out somewhere, talk? I'll explain everything._

My thumb hovered above the 'send' button. Should I?

...

Fuck it.

I tapped the screen and quickly locked my phone, shoving it into my pocket. Rushing are into the shop again, I plucked my lighter from Jamie's fingers and smirked. She sneered and flicked an ice cube at me. I dodged it and leaned against the counter. We stared at each other in silence for a moment before my phone buzzed. I took it out and unlocked it while Jamie giggled excitedly.

**Hey Ang. What time are you off work?**

I smiled, relieved. He wanted to meet up! I tapped out a quick response and waited.

_Six. You?_

**Five thirty. Stellata Park at seven?**

_Sounds good. See you then. :)_

"So!" Jamie exclaimed, looking over my shoulder. "What did he say?"

I pressed my phone to my chest defensively. "Nothing. We're meeting up at seven." Jamie squealed and hugged me.

"Why are you so excited about this?"

"You've been single for so long, it's about time you went on a date." I pushed her away gently.

"Jamie! He's getting married -"

"So?"

"- and this isn't a date!"

"Yes it is. Shut up." I shook my head and put my phone away, standing at the till.

"You're ridiculous."

::: ::: ::: :::

Jamie let me off earlier, practically shoving me out the door. "You need to get ready," she said.

Snow had begun falling, covering the ground with a thin layer. I rushed home, already going over what I should wear. Granted, it was cold so whatever I wore would be covered with a coat but what if we went inside somewhere...? I shook my head as though to get rid of those thoughts and tried hard not to blush. I walked into my room and stared into my closet, eventually choosing a black shirt and dark blue jeans with my Timberland boots. I grabbed the outfit and took a quick shower, getting dressed immediately after it. Then I brushed and dried my hair, hoping it didn't look too stupid. When I was done getting ready, I glanced at the clock and saw I had about half an hour to get there. Grabbing my messenger bag, I took a pack of gum and some mints. Then, I put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it, rushing out the door.

::: ::: :::

He was already waiting when I arrived, sitting on a bench, eyes closed with a cigarette in his hand. I walked up, the snow crunching beneath my feet. He smiled as I sat beside him but he didn't open his eyes.

"Hi." I uttered, feeling myself go red. He chuckled.

"Hello," We sat in silence until he spoke again, "You wanted to talk, right?"

"Yeah. I wanted to apologize for earlier."

"Hey, now," he opened his eyes and looked at me, "No hard feelings, 'kay? It was a misunderstanding, that's all. No need to make a big deal 'bout it. I overreacted and didn't let you explain." I smiled softly.

"Start over?"

"Alright. So... Do you want to get a drink?"

"Oh! No, I don't drink." Bon narrowed his eyes at me. I bit my lip.

"You _are_ old enough, yeah?" I scoffed.

"Of course I am. I have been since March." 

"Damn it, I feel old." What.

"Uh..." I trailed off, hoping he could guess what I meant.

"Thirty."

"Oh." The silence went awkward for a while until he said, "Come on, I want to show you something." I stood up and he did too, grinning and grabbing my wrist. He ran towards the forest adjoining the park and I tried to keep up. We ran past the small stream and up to a lake I'd never seen before. Snow had started falling again and it made the whole place even more breathtaking. The moon was reflecting off the cobalt water and there were a few leaves floating on the surface.

"How did you find this place?"

"That's a secret. Even Irene hasn't been here."

"I feel special." I remarked sarcastically, sitting down on the ground, sinking into the fluffy snow. Bon laughed, joining me.

"You are." I was glad it was dark because I was certain my face was red again. Clearing my throat, I spoke, "So, why did you want me to call you?"

"You seem interesting. You always seem to be in a daydream... I don't know, I guess I just thought you were cute."

Okay, hold up.

He just called me cute.

He's going to get married but he called me cute.

What the fuck?

"- Sorry, that was out of line." he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with me. I smiled widely.

"It was nice." Bon chuckled quietly.

"Fuck, Ang, I'm really fuckin' scared, y'know? I - I don't think I'm ready to get married, settle down. I have so many unfulfilled dreams and Irene disapproves of most of them." He rubbed his eyes and I sat up, patiently waiting for him to continue. "I want to be in a band, I want to travel the world, I want to get rich and famous, have a nice motorbike, a beach house..." Bon sighed, staring up at me. "I'm boring you, aren't I?"

"Not at all. I like your voice." He smiled and sat up, looking at the water rippling gently. I shivered and he moved closer, wrapping his arms around me. I tried hard not to tense up and instead, I leaned in even closer. He didn't seem to mind. We both silently watched the water until the tension was unbearable. I was going to move away when he did something completely unexpected.

He kissed me.

I went rigid and I could tell he felt it because he tried to pull away. The initial shock wore off and I found myself wanting more. I pulled him closer and pressed my lips to his pale ones, feeling weak when he kissed back. This is wrong, I kept thinking, but at that moment, it didn't matter. It felt as though time had stopped. I didn't want it to start again. He snaked his arms around my neck and I tangled my fingers in his hair. It was only when his phone rang that we jumped away from each other. He sighed and checked his phone, hissing a cuss under his breath. He stood up and began walking away. I chased after him.

"Wait! Bon!"

"This was a mistake. I'm sorry, Angus." With that, he was gone, leaving me alone.

_Well, shit._


	4. Four

**December 15th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

 

I woke up with puffy eyes and at first, I couldn't tell if it was from the crying myself to sleep or from lying in the snow until I was numb with cold. I came to the conclusion that it was both and tried to remember what happened as I stood in the shower.

_When I finally stumbled into the apartment, at midnight, Hope bombarded me with questions, She'd stayed up waiting for me and worried when I wouldn't answer my phone._

_"What did that bastard do to you?!" She yelled, storming up to me as I took off my soaked shoes, my fingers rigid._

_"N- Wait, how do you even- who are you talking about?" I was certain my speech was slurred because I could barely move my lips but she seemed to understand._

_"Bon, what did he do to you? Was he being sketchy? I'll fucking kick his ass I sw-"_

_"He didn't do anything. He wasn't sketchy." I cut her off, heading for the kitchen to make myself some tea._

_"Oh God." She whispered._

_"What?"_

_"You guys did it, didn't you?" I burst out laughing._

_"We didn't do anything. How the hell do you even know I met with him today?" I asked. She averted her gaze._

_"I-I talked to Jamie... She let it slip."_

_"God damn it, Jay." I mumbled under my breath, pouring the hot water into a mug. "I know you're awesome and all but you don't have to kick anybody's ass just yet. Okay?" She nodded reluctantly and I went to my room, gulping the tea down and peeling my wet clothes off, collapsing onto my bed. When I was sure that Hope was in her own room, I began crying again, desperately trying to muffle the sounds with a pillow, until I finally passed out from exhaustion._

I sighed, shutting off the water. As I tried to step out of the shower, I stumbled and was hit with a bout of vertigo. I grabbed on to the sink and tried hard to stay upright. I got dressed and was going to get ready for work but then the dizziness was back and suddenly, everything went black.

::: ::: :::

I woke up on the couch, a blanket over me and a note on the coffee table. I weakly reached over and blinked a few times.

_Hi Angie! You had a fever so I (somehow) managed to bring you here. I'd assume it's more comfortable than the bathroom floor. I called Jamie - you have a day off, lucky you! Take some paracetamol (it's on the counter) and sleep it away. Call me if you need anything. - Hope(fully you'll feel better soon)_

A small smile played at my lips as I got up to look for the pills. I took two and washed them down with water, suddenly realising how dry my mouth was. I realised I hadn't eaten for hours so I checked the fridge. There, I found another note.

_Pizza place - 0055379238. Just sayin'. I didn't try to cook because I didn't want to burn the house down. Enjoy! - Hope_

I chuckled and ordered a pizza, deciding to take a shower before it arrived since the fever made me sweat. I figured I was strong enough not to pass out again so I walked to the bathroom and stepped in the shower, letting the hot water wash over me. I thought of how screwed up this situation was. I made out with an engaged, straight guy. I could still feel his lips on mine. He was an amazing kisser and I wanted more but those were impossible wishes and I knew I was better off accepting that. I turned off the water, sluggishly dried myself off and got dressed again, in time to hear the doorbell. I grabbed my wallet and shuffled to the door. I paid for the pizza and walked to the couch again, turning on the TV. I couldn't do much more than that and I decided some moping would do me good.

::: ::: :::

I was in my room, reading, when the front door slammed and I could hear two pairs of heels clicking on the wooden floor. I smirked, listening to them giggling as they hit off things, probably still lip-locked, judging by the sounds they made. Looks like Hope scored Jamie after all. They eventually reached Hope's room because the door slammed and the noises became muffled though also much much more than I was prepared to withstand so I put on my headphones and listened to music while I drifted off to sleep.

::: ::: :::

**December 16th**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

I woke up to the sound of one of the girls throwing up. Thanks, ladies, much appreciated, I thought sarcastically while I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I was in the middle of a quite... Interesting dream and I blamed the fever for that. Taking a few more pills after getting dressed, I walked to the kitchen where Jamie was tiredly making coffee. She glanced at me and went red.

"Yes, I heard you. No, I don't need details." I mumbled, sniggering. Jamie flipped me off and handed me a mug which I took gratefully. "Is Hope okay?"

"Hungover." Jamie answered simply. I nodded and we sat in silence for a while. "How are you? Heard you were sick."

"I'll live."

"How was your date?" She asked, a gleam in her eye. I took a deep breath.

"It wasn't a date. We had a nice, candid conversation."

"Come on, man, obviously something happened." I shook my head, sipping the coffee.

"Nope. He's getting married, remember? He was friendly and forgiving but I doubt we'll meet again."

"Awh," Jamie whined, pouting, "you two seemed perfect for each other!" I swatted at her and she giggled, moving away from me. I sighed and got up, putting the mug in the sink. I grabbed a glass of water and brought it to Hope who was groaning, hugging the toilet.

"This is exactly why I don't drink." I remarked and handed it to her. She took it gratefully and weakly smiled at me.

"How you feeling?"

"Better. My nose is stuffy now, though." Just then, someone knocked on the front door. I opened it to see Bon standing there, holding a bag.

"Hello, Angus."

"Hello, Bon."

"Is Hope here?"

"She is."

"Irene asked me to bring this to her." He handed me the bag and turned to leave. I closed the door and exhaled sharply. Jamie was smirking from the living room couch.

"Something is definitely going on there!" She sang and I flipped her off.

"I'm going to fucking hit you."

"You can't deny it, Angelina!" I gritted my teeth, sending her a death glare.

"Do you really want to know what happened? Really? Fine!" I hissed, stepping closer to her. "We talked, we flirted and we kissed and it was the biggest mistake of my life. He said so too. So quit talking about him." With that, I put my shoes on and stormed out, barely remembering to bring my coat.


	5. Five

**December 16th**

**London, UK**

**Mahogany Meadows / Graydale Cemetery**

**Bon**

 

Why did I kiss him? I thought once more as Irene and I were watching a movie. Well, she was watching. I was just staring at the screen blankly, chewing my lip. When she sent me down to give Hope those shoes back, he opened the door and I saw he looked sick. I don't doubt that it was my fault. I know that's conceited but I left him there. _I'm such an ass._

"Bon?" Irene looked at me worriedly.

"Hm?"

"You alright?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"That's new."

"Oh, ha ha." I rolled my eyes, getting up off the couch.

"Where are you going, babe?"

"Just out for a walk." I smiled at her while I put on my jacket.

"Are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yes, Irene. Don't worry about it." I walked over and kissed the top of her head, wrapping my scarf around my neck.

"Be careful..."

"I will." I answered and left the house, walking in no particular direction. I didn't know what to do about this whole mess. Eventually my feet carried me to Graydale and I made my way towards Lee's grave, sitting on the bench across from it. I read the same text I knew off by heart and took a deep breath.

**Lee Byron, loved son and boyfriend, his life taken too soon from him. May he rest in peace. 1980- 2002**

"Hi, Lee... I know it's been a while... I'm sorry I didn't visit, it's just that, with my marriage coming up, my life's been pretty hectic. " I sighed, looking down. "I've missed you, though. I've missed our little chats... Everyone is doing well, I suppose. Irene postponed the wedding but that's alright. Gives me more time to adjust. I've done something really stupid, Lee, and the worst part is, it was the best thing I've ever done. There's this kid, Angus. Nine years younger than me. Anyway, he works in this new coffee shop and I gave him my number... He didn't call, we had an argument, I left, of course. We met up, he apologized and I brushed it off but then I brought him to where we used to go... And we did what you and I used to do. We made out. Then Irene rang me and we realised what happened and I fucking left him again. I don't know what to do anymore, because I don't know if I love Irene and I don't know what to do about Ang." I laughed humorlessly. "My life is fucking screwed up as usual."

::: ::: :::

I sat on the bench for hours, not caring about the snow falling or the fact that my phone kept buzzing. I just thought about nothing and hoped that the answer would come to me. Eventually, it got too cold and I got up reluctantly, saying goodbye to Lee and slowly making my way home.

Halfway, as I was turning a corner, I nearly tripped over a slouched body. I thought nothing of it, figuring it was simply a drunk or a junkie begging for money but then I realized the person's clothes were too clean, too new. They looked up at me, eyes distant. I frowned.

"Angus?" He didn't respond. His face was pale and his lips blue. I crouched beside him and gingerly extended my hand, touching his cheek. Damn it. I whipped out my phone and dialled 999, hastily telling them I needed an ambulance because he seemed to have hypothermia. Then, I sat next to him and wrapped my arms around him, hoping to share some body heat.

"Angus, can you hear me?" He didn't respond. I sighed and tried not to panic. Irene rang again and I answered, not wanting to piss her off.

"Bon, for fuck's sake, where the hell are you? It's been three hours!"

"Sorry, love. Uh, I'm gonna be late. Can I call you back?"

"Why? What's going on?"

"Nothing. Nothing, I just have to go to the hospital."

"What?!"

"A friend of mine has hypothermia and I have to go with him, call his roommate, all that. Don't worry about me, okay? I'll call you as soon as I can. Love you." I ended the call just as an ambulance pulled up and two paramedics rushed out.

"How long has he been like this?"

"No clue, I just found him, what, ten minutes ago?" I answered as they lifted him onto a gurney and wheeled him into the ambulance.

"Sir, are you coming with?" I nodded and sat beside him, watching as they attached wires and drips to his body. "Can you give us some basic info?" A third paramedic asked, sitting beside me. I nodded.

"What do you need to know?"

"Name, age, date of birth, who he is to you, people we should contact..."

"Angus Young, twenty one, born in March, 1993, not sure exactly what day. We're acquaintances. Uh, contact Hope Stone in an emergency." I answered, pulling out my phone to tell her Hope's number. She nodded, putting the clipboard away and we sat in silence, broken only by the slow beeping from his heart monitor. I decided to text Hope instead of sitting there, useless.

_Hope, it's Bon. Come to King's College Hospital pronto._

**What? Wtf did you do?**

_It's not me, idiot, it's Angus. He has hypothermia._

**Fucking moron. I'll be there soon.**

I put my phone away and chewed my lip the whole ride to the hospital. I told myself I'd stop being around him to avoid getting emotionally attached but I realised that I'd been attached since I gave him my number.

I am so screwed.


	6. Chapter 6

**December 16th,**

**London, UK**

**King's College Hospital**

**Bon**

"He was in a stupor, which is a symptom of severe hypothermia, but his heart is stable and there's no frostbite. He should be fine but we would like to keep him here overnight to make sure." Doctor Willis told me as she stepped out of Angus' room. I nodded in understanding, "We... we think it's best we give him a psych referral." 

"He wasn't trying to kill himself!" I exclaimed defensively. She stared at me fixedly. 

"Can you be certain about that?" Truth was, I couldn't. When I didn't reply, she patted my shoulder and walked off, her lab coat swishing behind her. I sat on the couch in front of his room and saw Hope and Jamie walking in my direction. Hope whispered something to Jamie who nodded, kissed her and walked away, taking out her car keys from her bag. Hope sat beside me and handed me a coffee. I nodded gratefully, sipping the scalding beverage.

"Any news?" 

"They think he was trying to off himself." I told her. 

"He wouldn't."

"Do you think he'd tell you?" She hesitated before replying, 

"Yeah, he would." I decided not to say anything about her hesitation, instead opting for staring at a spot on the linoleum. "What's going on with you two?" She asked after a while of silence.

"He didn't tell you?"

"He yelled at Jamie and I overheard, but I'd rather hear it from you."

"Well... we went out to talk and I brought him to Lee's lake. We flirted a bit and then we made out." I deadpanned, biting my lip. 

"What about Irene?" Hope asked quietly. I shook my head, shrugging.

"I don't know. I honestly don't." 

"You're a fucking idiot." I whipped my head up to face her, ready to yell at her, when she continued, "He loves you, and you played with his feelings like that... Fix it somehow, or I'll break your face."

"Thanks. I appreciate your empathy." 

"Anytime. Now go in there. He's awake." I nodded and stepped into the room. He stared at me, lucid this time.

"Why'd you stay?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright."

"Why?" 

"Because I care." He scoffed, looking away.

"So that's why you ran away, because you  _care_." Angus chuckled humorlessly and continued, "You just wanted to tease me, didn't you?"

"Ang, I'm sorry. That's not what I intended."

"You know, I've liked you for over a year and just when I finally thought you liked me back, you just leave me like that."

"I said, I'm sorry! I do care about you... Hell, more than care."

"You're engaged."

"Gee, thanks, I wasn't aware!" I snapped and Ang rolled his eyes.

"I don't want this, she definitely won't..."

"I wasn't planning on cheating. I do want to be friends, though." 

"Yeah... friends." He smiled at me but I could see his eyes glistening with tears. 

"I'll see you around... I gotta get back to Irene or she'll flip. Bye, Ang." Without awaiting his response, I left and began the journey home. 

 

—-

 

When I arrived, the house was empty. I sighed, hanging up my coat. Irene always complained that I was never home but neither was she. I walked over to the fridge, grabbing a beer, preparing myself for a long night of unwelcome thoughts. 

 

One beer spiralled into five and a bottle of scotch. I wanted numbness. So I drank, until I was so hammered, I could barely stand. I tried getting up to get another bottle but I tripped over the coffee table. I groaned in pain but I couldn't find the strength to get up so I decided the floor was comfortable enough.

 

Irene woke me up by calling me pathetic. I opened my eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall. 

"It's six."

"I know."

"Where were you?" I asked, sitting up. 

"Silver's."

" _Right_." 

"Whatever." Irene paused, glancing at the bottles strewn around me. "What the hell were you doing, getting shitfaced alone?"

"Well, you weren't here to keep me company." I sneered, standing. 

"What happened?" She was suddenly worried.

"I just felt like getting drunk," I said, shrugging, as I walked to our room. I sat on the bed and stared at the white wall. She wasn't at Silver's. I knew because Silver was in New York with Judy King. I had fond memories of Judy, despite the fact that she almost killed me a couple of years back. I made a mental note to catch up with her. What I couldn't understand was why Irene would lie. I told her truthfully where I was, and, even though she probably didn't believe me, I didn't lie. She was strangely cold towards me recently, I noted and felt my eyes watering. There was only one person who could comfort me. Within ten minutes, I was dressed and out the door, not bothering with an explanation to Irene. 


	7. Chapter 7

**December 17th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

 

Hope drove me home that evening. The whole way there, she was yelling at me, asking why. I had no answer. I just didn't care whether I lived or died. 

"Why don't you believe me when I say that it wasn't on purpose?"

She sighed, "I'm sorry but what you told me, or rather, didn't, about you and Bon... I can't help but worry you're hiding something else."

"How do you know about that?"

"He told me." I gritted my teeth, making a mental note to kill the bastard.

"Did he think I was gonna kill myself?" Hope nodded solemnly, "Because of  _him_?! He shouldn't flatter himself." 

"Angus..." Hope's voice was stern.

"What are you, my  _mother_? If I were to off myself, it definitely wouldn't be over Bon Scott. He's not that special." 

"You love him."

"No, I fucking don't! I want to sleep with him because I find him attractive. Since when is that synonymous with love?"

"Ever heard the expression  _making love_?" She asked, smirking.

"I want to fuck his brains out, not make love. Actually, now I want to  _blow_ his brains out," Hope bit her lip, snickering, "with a gun."

"Right, you keep telling yourself that." I didn't bother responding and the tension returned. I just stared out the window, hoping I could hold in my tears until we got home.

 

 

— — — — — —

 

 

Around 7 am the next morning, I was awoken by the sound of someone knocking on the front door. I groaned, stumbling over, rubbing my eyes. As soon as I opened it, a body threw itself at me. I managed to catch them before we both fell. I realized it was Bon and I pushed him away slightly, looking up at him. His eyes were red and it was obvious he had been crying. We stood in silence for a moment before he whispered, "Kiss me."

"What?" Bon cleared his throat and repeated louder, 

"Kiss me."

"No." I tried to sound assertive but I obviously didn't fool him because he leaned in, connecting our lips. I immediately kissed back and we stepped further into the hallway as I kicked the door closed. Pulling away for a moment, I asked, "What about Irene?"

"Shut up." Was the answer I got. Shrugging, I decided to enjoy it while it lasted. I knew it would end badly, but at that moment, I couldn't care less. Nothing mattered anymore when he was holding me. I barely noticed that we were in my room a few minutes later, then falling onto my bed. 

 

I never expected our relationship to go this far. I dreamed about it, wished for it, but I never thought it could actually happen. I was exhausted and my eyelids were drooping but I feared sleep. I was scared he'd leave as soon as my eyes closed or that this was just a really vivid dream. I bit my lip, staring at the ceiling. My life has been a mess ever since he gave me his number but I couldn't hate him for it, even if I wanted to.

 

He woke up about an hour later, rolling over to look at me. I reluctantly met his gaze, seeing a sleepy smile on his face.

"You're even better than I imagined." Imagined?! "I've been thinking about you ever since we kissed." He explained, seeing my expression. I wondered if we woke Hope up. I hoped not. 

"Bon, what is this? What are we?"

"I don't know. I do know that Irene is hiding something from me, I know that what I feel for you is much stronger than my feelings for her ever were... I know I wish I wasn't engaged so I could be with you instead..." Bon trailed off, breaking eye contact.

"But we can't." I finished for him.

"What we can do is keep this between us."

"That's a given. I wish I could kiss you whenever I want to, hold your hand."

"So do I." Bon mumbled, intertwining our fingers. I smiled softly, sighing. I could get used to that feeling. I wished we could be a couple. 

"Won't Irene be worried?"

"Probably but I don't care." He replied, leaning over to kiss me. 

"I don't want you to leave."

"I don't wanna leave."

"Then stay."

"You know I can't." 

"Yeah, you can. You can leave her, be with me." I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth. Bon just shook his head and got up, getting dressed.  I watched sadly as he shrugged on his coat and walked to the door, turning back at the last minute to kiss me goodbye. Then, he was gone. 

 

**December 17th**

**London, UK**

**Mahogany Meadows**

**Bon**

 

 

"Where the fuck were you?" Irene greeted me at the door. I pushed past her, walking to the couch.

"We need to talk, Irene."

"Do we?"

"Yeah. Sit down." She did so, avoiding my gaze.

"What about?"

"Where were you last night?"

"I told you, Silver's."

"No, you weren't because Silver is in New York." Irene froze, caught in her lie. I waited patiently for an answer. I wasn't planning on being a dick, I just wanted to find out if my suspicions were correct. 

"Fine. I was at a friend's house, you don't know him."

"Is he the reason you keep calling off our wedding?" 

"N-no. It's because..." Irene closed her eyes, a tear marking her cheek, "It's because I'm pregnant." My eyes widened and I shot up, pacing around the room.

"You're joking, right?"My fiancée shook her head. "Fuck!" 

"Bon, it's fine. I-I can abort." I stopped my pacing, staring at her, incredulous. 

"You're shitting me. I'm not gonna let you do that." I didn't care that the baby probably wasn't mine. I sat next to Irene and held her while she sobbed. 

"I gotta confess to something..." She whispered. I bit my lip. 

"What's his name?"

"Alistair." She sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. I cheated too."

"With who?"

"I- You don't know him."

"Him?!" Irene exclaimed, immediately putting her hand to her mouth. We sat in silence for a long time before she asked, "Should I call everyone to tell them it's off for good?"

"I'll cancel the reservations. When do you want me gone?"

"You can take your time, it's fine." I nodded, taking my phone out of my pocket and taking the list with numbers off the fridge. 

 

 

Two hours later, everything had been cancelled. I went to our room and packed all of my things into a few suitcases. Booking a hotel online, I took my house keys from the keychain and left them on the coffee table. 

"You don' have to go yet..." Irene mumbled, walking up to hug me.

"I want to. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I understand. Where will you be staying?"

"A hotel for now. Keep me updated on the baby, okay?" Irene nodded. I kissed the top of her head and pulled away, putting all my bags outside while I hailed a cab. When it pulled up, I smiled sadly at her. "I'll miss you, 'Rene."

"I'll miss you too. Goodbye." With that, I got into the cab and left a large chunk of my life behind.

 

I knew from the moment I left my number on that table that I'd screw up my relationship with Irene. I don't know why either of us cheated but it doesn't matter. I was surprised that she didn't object to me leaving. Maybe there was less between us than I thought? When the cab pulled up at the hotel, I quickly paid and got my things, wanting to get drunk in my room alone. I had too much to think about and I didn't want to think. I checked in, put my things in my room and went out, looking for a liquor store.  _This was gonna be a long night._

 


	8. Chapter 8

**December 18th**

**London, UK**

**Blue Moon Café**

**Angus**

 

I was back in the coffee shop, while Jamie and Hope were at Jamie's, doing whatever it is they do when they're not having sex. I found out that Hope had not heard Bon and I because she was at Jamie's. It was kinda cute but mostly just gross. I waited for Bon all morning but he didn't show up. I wondered what he was doing. Maybe Irene? I shuddered at that thought, even though I knew it was stupid. It's his fiancée. I'd be surprised if they didn't have sex. I was lost in thought when the door opened and a man with short hair and a newsboy cap walked in. He seemed familiar but it wasn't until he spoke, and I heard that familiar gravelly voice,  that I realized.

"Brian?" He grinned.

"Angus! Hi!" 

"It's been ages! How's life treating ya?" I asked. Brian chuckled.

"Can't complain. How about you?"

"Been better." My friend nodded in understanding. "So, what can I get you?"

"A cappuccino, thanks. Jamie around?"

"Naw, she's on a date."

"Oh, yeah? With who?"

"Hope Stone." Brian wolf-whistled and I smirked.

"A lot's changed, I see."

"Things change in a day, much less three years."

"How about you, you got anyone?"

"I don't even know." 

He frowned. "How do you not know?"

"He's getting married, Bri." 

"Not to you, I'm assuming?" I chuckled bitterly.

"I wish. Nah, some girl called Irene."

"Irene moves on pretty fast, then, assuming we're talking about the same Irene."

"Huh?"

"You haven't heard? She split up with her fiancé."

"For what?" I asked, handing him his coffee.

"Cheating," Bri smirked, "Was it you?" I felt myself going red. "Well, all I can say is that it was a mutual breakup. They both cheated." I bit my lip, processing this. We chatted for a little longer, promising to meet up before he had to go and I was left with my own thoughts.  I decided to call Hope to see if she knew anything about it.

"Yeah?" She panted. I grimaced, unwanted images worming into my brain.

"Is this a bad time?"

"Kind of?"

"Tough shit." I mumbled and I swear I could hear her roll her eyes.

"What do you want?"

"What's the deal with Bon and Irene?"

"They split up. I assume you know that. Evergreen Hotel, room 407. Use protection." This time, it was me rolling my eyes. She hung up and I planned to go to the hotel immediately after work. 

 

**December 18th**

**London, UK**

**Evergreen Hotel**

**Angus**

 

I gently knocked on the door to room 407, hoping it was the right one. Just as I was about to give up, a tired-looking Bon opened the door. 

"Oh, hey."

"I heard about you and Irene. Just wanted to make sure you were okay." I mumbled, hugging him. 

"I'm better, now that you're here." I smiled. "Kiss me?"

"You don't need to ask." Our lips met in a short, sweet kiss. I didn't want to seem too eager. He pulled away first, turning around to hide his tears but I saw them anyway.

"Bon, what's wrong?"

"No, nothing, it's fine." He wiped his face and sat on his bed, putting his head in his hands. 

"Tell me."

"It's just that... Irene, she's, uh, she's pregnant." Bon chuckled humorlessly. I froze. 

" _What_?!" 

"My exact reaction." 

"Is it- Is it yours?" 

"Probably not, she doesn't know." I sat on the bed, wrapping an arm around him. I noticed all the bottles strewn around the floor.

"You can't drink away all your problems, Bon." I mumbled. He shrugged.

"Worked so far." I sighed and held him while he cried silently. I was shocked too but I had to stay strong for him, although all I wanted to do was cry myself to sleep. I shouldn't have texted him, I should have told him I wasn't interested.  

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda," as Brian used to say. I was already in this mess, might as well be supportive. We sat together until Bon had calmed down but by then he was half asleep. I told him to go to bed and that I'd see him in the morning but he objected as I got up, clinging onto me. 

"Stay." I knew that if I did, the girls would never let me hear the end of it but I couldn't care less. He cuddled up to me and we drifted off to sleep together. 

 

**December 19th**

**London, UK**

**Evergreen Hotel / Blue Moon Café**

**Angus**

 

I woke up first, checking the time on my phone. I would be ten minutes late if I left right then. Figuring it was better than being there even later and risking more teasing, I silently got up. I didn't wanna leave him, because I knew how much that sucks, but I had to. I decided to write him a note instead. 

_Hi Bon, you sleep well? I had to go to work but if you feel like it, come up later and we can talk. Coffee's on the house! - Ang_

Leaving it on the bed beside him, I quietly slipped out of the room. 

 

When I reached the shop, Jamie and Hope were already there, prepared to mock me.

"Why are you late, Angelina? Bonnie keep you up late last night? Or maybe he's into morning sex?" Hope pondered, smirking. I flipped her off.

"No, he did not. And yes, he probably is. Who isn't?" I sat on a stool beside Hope while Jamie leaned on the counter. "Nothing happened. I'm late cause I forgot to set an alarm."The girls giggled. "You're both older than me yet you're so immature..." I glared at them both. 

"But you two are adorable! And now that Irene is out of the picture, you can finally be together." 

"It's been a day. I don't expect him to move on so quickly." I grinned, "Now! My turn to mock you. What do you do when you're together?"

"We make out... We fuck..." Jamie began.

"A lot." Hope finished for her. I shook my head.

"See? Bon and I only had sex onc-  _Why_ did I say that?" The girls squealed. I sighed deeply.

"So, what's he like?"

"Oh, he's good . Very experienced."

"I'm not surprised, you're not the first guy he's been with." Hope mumbled. 

"Oh, yeah?"

"Mhm. That lake he took you to? It's where he and his first and boyfriend had their first date, first kiss... First time, too."

"When was this?" I asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Eleven years ago."

"What happened to the boyfriend?" 

"Car accident after they had a fight. Poor bastard still blames himself. You're his first boyfriend since then." I wanted to object, explain that we weren't boyfriends but I decided against it. 

"How long has he been with Irene?"

"Four years. Took him seven to get over Lee, then he had a year of one-night stands. I'm pretty sure Irene was his way of trying to convince everyone he's straight." I made a note to ask him all about it later. 

"You're a lucky guy, Ang." Jamie remarked as Bon walked in.

"How'd you get here so fast?"

"Cab." I nodded and joined Jamie behind the counter. 

"The usual?"

"Yeah, thanks." I began preparing his drink while the girls chatted to him about something. I wasn't paying attention, still processing everything they told me. I handed him his coffee and he leaned over to kiss me. My friends squealed as our lips met and I rolled my eyes. "I gotta go to work. I'll talk to you later, alright? I have a surprise for you." 

"Yep. Bye, Bon." We all watched him leave. When he did, Jamie hugged me tightly. 

"That was adorable!" 

"I wonder what the surprise is..." Hope smirked again and I found myself grinning. 

 

**December 19th,**

**London, UK**

**Violet Plaza**

**Angus**

 

I left work at five, due to my boss once again practically shoving me out the door. Bon texted me half an hour later to meet him at Violet Plaza at six thirty. I got dressed quickly and started walking towards the plaza, wondering what he had planned. Once I got there, I saw him sitting on one of the benches. He smiled widely when he noticed me walking up to him. 

"Hi, Ang."

"Hey, Bon. What's your plan?" I asked as he stood up and intertwined our fingers. 

"See over there?" Bon pointed at the temporary ice-skating rink in the middle of the lot. "That's my plan."

"I can't skate."

"Well, I can. You can hold my hand."

"That's a great plan, then. Let's go," I grinned, and we slowly started walking towards it. We were silent for a while, enjoying each other's company before Bon spoke again, "What did the girls tell you about me?" 

"How do you know they were talking about you? You arrogant bastard." 

"Ha, ha. I know because I overheard my name as I was standing outside the window."

"That's fuckin' creepy." I got a self-satisfied smirk in response. 

"I was smoking. I didn't want to break the rules and bring the cigarette inside."

"You don't seem like someone who follows rules."

"That's right, bitch." I rolled my eyes, glancing at our clasped hands. 

"I'm not your bitch, bitch." 

"Good. You're an independent woman who don't need no man, right?"

"Bon, just stop. You're embarrassing me."

"Oh, am I?" Bon asked, "Was that a challenge?" 

"What? No!" I squealed as he picked me up and spun me around. When he finally set me down, I was giggling as I stumbled, everything spinning around me. "Is this what it's like to be you?"

"Naw, I don't get drunk." I cocked an eyebrow, staring at him, "Alright, yeah. What's it like being as handsome as me?"

"That's a step down from how I look already."

"Ouch!"

"You're a dumbass." I mumbled, grabbing his hand again as I sped up. "Come on, I wanna skate!" 

 

"My ass hurts now." I whined as we walked home. Bon snickered. I slapped his arm playfully and he brought me closer to him, hugging me. 

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, despite falling like twenty thousand times." 

"It wasn't that bad..."

"Is it your ass that's bruised now?"

"No but if you're into that kinda stuff, I can adapt..." I grimaced as Bon gave a hearty chuckle. We spent the rest of the walk in silence, each of us lost in thought. I wondered what this meant. He obviously wasn't grieving the end of his relationship with Irene, but would that mean he would want to move on so quickly? 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**December 20th**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

 

 

Bon had left the previous evening, despite my protests. He said he had a long day ahead of him and he needed a good night's rest, which wouldn't be possible with me. I wasn't too happy with this explanation because I could tell something was off. I didn't pry too much - I hadn't known him long but I knew he'd tell me if he wanted to. When I opened the door to our apartment, the girls immediately began their interrogation.

"Where did you guys go?"

"What did you do?"

"Was it fun?"

"Why didn't he come up with you?" I didn't bother with long explanations. If I started enabling them, they'd never leave me alone. I went to bed after asking them to keep it down and I could almost hear them wondering what happened to make me so quiet.

 

That morning, I woke up first. The apartment was silent and I was thankful for that. I hoped to leave before the girls woke up, or at least be ready to leave before they were. I wondered what Bon was doing. Probably sleeping but who knows? I decided a quick text wouldn't hurt anyone so I sent one.

 

_Good morning, Bon :) Will I see you today?_

 

I was surprised at his almost immediate reply.

 

**Of course. Did you sleep well?**

 

_Would have been better with you here..._

 

**I'm sorry :( I had some stuff to take care of**

 

_It's okay. Stay tonight?_

 

**I'll see...**

 

_Awwh, don't be mean_

 

**Well, if you insist...**

 

I didn't bother replying, getting dressed quickly. Hope was up first, walking into the kitchen while I was making toast.

 

"Glad to see you finally dragged your lazy ass out of bed." I remarked, smirking at her bed head. Her short, ginger hair was sticking up in all directions, flat at the back. My room-mate flipped me off, yawning.

"At least I got some exercise last night, unlike you."

"I heard your exercise, and I went ice-skating yesterday, how is that not exercise?" Hope sneered, lacking a comeback. She was unbearable in the mornings.

"Oh yeah, you never did tell us why Bon didn't spend the night..." Jamie added, walking in. I shrugged.

"He had something to take care of."

"Ooh!"

"Jamie, you're my boss and I respect you but I swear to God, I'll end up hitting you."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Is that a challenge?" I asked, standing straighter to make myself seem taller. Jamie chuckled, moving past me to grab an apple from the fruit bowl. I rolled my eyes and went into the hallway to put on my shoes and coat.

"You should get a car."

"I should, but I can't afford a car."

"Bon can afford a car."

"Okay and?"

"Oh, nothing." I sighed deeply, begging whoever was listening to get me out of my misery.

 

 

I got home that evening, disappointed that Bon didn't show up at the shop. However, when I unlocked the door, I saw him sitting on the couch with Hope.

"Hi?" I cocked an eyebrow. Bon stood to hug me. I had to stand on my tip-toes to be able to comfortably embrace him but I didn't mind.

"I'm sorry I didn't see you in the morning, but I found a flat and I had to move my things."

"That's okay," I mumbled, smiling.

"Will you two just kiss already?" Hope yelled although her words were slightly slurred.

"Is she-?" I trailed off and Bon nodded.

"Yeah."

"Might as well give her what she wants..." I smirked and Bon shrugged, leaning down slightly and interlocking our lips. Hope whooped and I flipped her off, deepening the kiss. I tangled my fingers in his hair and tugged gently. A low moan escaped his mouth and Hope's mood changed, pretending to throw up as she told us to get a room. We both seemed to think that was a good idea and we somehow managed to get into mine while still lip-locked. We moved onto my bed, our hands roaming. As I fumbled with his belt buckle, I felt a strip of soft plastic sticking out of his pocket. I froze, hoping it wasn't what I thought it was. Bon's reaction to my discovery seemed to confirm my suspicions. He tried to stop me from taking it out but I managed to anyway, coming up with a small baggie of white powder. I stared at it, incredulous. Bon was silent, avoiding eye contact.

"What is this?" I asked, my voice unnaturally soft.

"It's nothing."

"Don't bullshit me. What is it?"

"Not mine."

"Yeah, right."

"I swear."

"What is it?" I asked again, clenching my fists. "Coke? Heroin? Meth?" He didn't answer, chewing his lip."Fucking tell me, Bon, what is it?"

"It- It's heroin." I nodded, still staring at the drugs. "It's not mine, I promise."

"Don't promise because I know you're lying. How long have you been using?"

"I haven't!"

"Bon..."

"On and off for three years."

"When was the last time?"

"Six months ago."

"Why now?"

"Why do you think?"

"Is it my fault?"

"No, of course not." I wasn't sure he was telling the truth.

"It is, isn't it?"

"No!" He exclaimed. I sighed.

"Why won't you talk to me instead? I barely know you. Why turn to the drugs, the alcohol?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just not good at talking about my feelings."

"Talk to me. About anything. We haven't talked properly since you took me to the lake, and even then, we didn't talk much."

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything. What music you like, movies, your favourite color, food, about your childhood... Anything. And then, when you feel ready, I want you to tell me why the drugs."

"I can do that." He said after a while. I nodded and wrapped my arms around him.

"I'm tired..." I mumbled, sighing, "Tired of all this shit. Why can't we just be together and carefree?"

"We can be together. Being carefree will take some work."

"Do you want us to be together?"

"Of course. I've been wanting it since last year."

"Really?" Bon nodded and I smiled softly. "Okay."

 


	10. Chapter 10

**December 21st**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Bon**

 

 

I wondered if Angus was angry at me. He seemed disappointed, more than anything. I wanted to find out how he knew all about drugs. Anyone else would assume cocaine but they probably wouldn't even notice the baggie. I never did get it back but I still craved the rush. Thankfully, Judy returned the day before and I could buy more from her. I looked at his sleeping face, his arm on his forehead and hair strewn around the pillow. He wasn't too close to me but I told myself it was because he was asleep. I wanted to make it up to him and so I took out my phone and texted my good friend, Cliff.

 

_Hey, Cliff, it's Bon_

 

**I know, idiot, I have your number saved**

 

_Whatever. Can I ask a favour?_

 

**Sure, what do you need?**

 

_You working today?_

 

**Yeah**

 

_I'll come by later, I need your help choosing a gift_

 

**Who is it for?**

 

_You don't know him_

 

**How do you know, you haven't asked me...**

 

_Angus Young_

 

**Sure I know him, he works at that little coffee shop on Main Street, doesn't he? What were you thinking?**

 

_A guitar. His roommate mentioned a Gibson SG, I think it was?_

 

**I've got one left, it's cherry red. Want me to reserve it for you?**

 

_That'd be great. Talk to you later, he's waking up._

 

**What's that got to do with anything?**

 

 _I'll tell you later, bye, Cliff._  

 

"Good morning, sleepy head." I whispered softly as he stretched. 

"What time's it?"

"7:30. You sleep well?"

"No," He groaned, rubbing his eyes, "I had a nightmare."

"What about?" I asked, playing with his hair.

"You OD'ing on the heroin." Angus deadpanned and I sighed. 

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." He sat up, staring at me. "I'm sorry too."

"For what?"

"Breaking your relationship."

"That was already broken. It's not your fault, don't go thinking it is." 

"It's sort of my fault. I shouldn't have gotten emotionally invested."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter any more cause now you're mine and I'm not letting you go."

"I don't want to go to work today." He mumbled, yawning.

"Then don't."

"I have to." He looked at me again, "You never actually told me where you work."

"Usually at home, I work IT."

"Wow."

I chuckled, "What did you expect?"

"I don't even know what I expected." Angus smiled softly and got up, grabbing clothes from his closet. He walked out, presumably to go to the bathroom, and I decided to get dressed too. I hated that he blamed himself. Honestly, I was glad that Irene kept moving the wedding because I wasn't ready. Not with her. Spending the rest of my life with her would have been a bad idea but I wasn't sure if I could say the same about Angus. 

 

 

 

I walked him to the shop and then immediately hailed a cab to go to Cliff's. Angus wondered why I was leaving but I told him it was a surprise. His adorable pout was burned into my memory. We didn't have sex the previous night, the mood killed instantly by the heroin, but I still wanted him. The arousal was faint and in the back of my mind but it was there and I had to get my release, whether it be alone or with him. That meant that I'd have to get the guitar quick and go home, fixing the issue. It'd also distract me from the drugs. When the cab pulled up to the music store, I hopped out, paying the driver, and walked inside, happily noting that I was most likely the first customer. Cliff was nowhere to be seen but I heard a bass being tuned in the back. I decided to wait, not liking to interrupt. He must have heard me come in, though, because a few moments later, he was walking out, grinning. 

"Bon! Hey, man, 'sup?" I shook his hand briefly, smiling. 

"Not much. You got the guitar?"

"Sure do. Hold on," He announced, taking out a large box from under the counter. He opened the lid, showing me the contents. I saw a glossy, cherry-red, wooden guitar inside, resting on some Styrofoam. I nodded, gently brushing a finger across the strings. 

"How much?"

"It's normally £845 but I'll sell it to you for £700."

"We have a deal." I took my wallet out of my pocket, counting out the cash.

"What's the occasion?"  Cliff asked. I glanced up at him briefly, seeing a smirk on his face.

"Christmas."

"This is an expensive gift. You know him well? Childhood friend?"

"Mm."

"So there's another reason..."

"Mm." I handed him the money and he closed the box, sealing it off. 

"You're sleeping together!" He exclaimed all of a sudden. I felt a blush creeping onto my cheeks. "Oh my God, is that why you and Irene-?"

"Yeah, okay, you got me." 

"Since when?"

"Technically, we've only slept together once but... Since the 18th."

"And you're already buying him an expensive guitar..." I sensed some disapproval in Cliff's voice.

"I have the money, I want to do something nice for him to make up for being shitty..."

"He found the drugs, didn't he." It was a statement, not a question and I wondered if he was secretly Sherlock Holmes. 

"How did you-?"

"Because you're an idiot. I was talking to Judy and she told me she sold you some, which concerned her because it's been a while since you needed it."

"He found it and took it away from me. Oddly enough, he didn't seem angry, just... disappointed."

"It's cause it reminded him of - No, I can't. He'll tell you himself in his own time."

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Not my story to tell. Go ask him about it." I sighed, picking up the guitar. 

"Okay. Thanks, Cliff. See you later."

 

At home, a few hours later, after I had taken care of my... problem, I was wrapping the box in minimalistic black and red paper. I hoped this was a good gift for him, because despite knowing how and liking to play guitar, I didn't want this one. I didn't really even know if we would be spending Christmas together, seeing as we had only gone on one proper date. I had to take him out again but I had no ideas. Maybe he would be up for a movie night? My train of thought was interrupted by my phone ringing. I picked up, holding it to my ear with my shoulder while I continued trying to wrap the blasted thing. 

"Y'ello?" 

"Bon!"

"Hey, Angus. I was just thinking about you." He was silent for a minute and I suspected he was blushing, the adorable bastard. "What's up?"

"I - Well, honestly, I just wanted to hear your voice..." I chuckled.

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over later today, we could have a movie night? And we could talk. If you want."

"Of course. Cuddles?"

"Who am I to refuse cuddles?!" I exclaimed in mock-annoyance. My boyfriend - or was he?-  giggled and I had to bit my lip. 

"Good. Send me the address, I'll be up at around eight? That alright? I just have some Christmas shopping to do so..."

"Perfect. See you later, then, Ang." I was grinning as I hung up. Was he my boyfriend? I'd have to ask later. Maybe he wasn't comfortable with labels like that? Hopefully he wouldn't mind... I finally managed to wrap the guitar and I sat at the breakfast bar, filling in the card I had bought after I left Cliff's. 

 

_Angus,_

_I hope you like your present - cost me a lot, it did - but don't feel too pressured about having an inadequate gift. The best one you could give to me is your smile and, of course, a kiss. That's not too much, is it?_

_Bon._

 

I really didn't expect much, if anything, but the only thing I wanted was to be able to kiss him and cuddle him. Amongst other things...

 

I shook my head sharply, wanting to make my mind blank. My eyelids were heavy and I decided to take a nap before he got here so that I wouldn't fall asleep during the first movie. I quickly texted him the address and shuffled to my room, falling onto my bed, my feet still hanging over the edge. Too tired to care, I drifted off to sleep. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pulp Fiction spoilers below.

**December 21st**

**London, UK**

**Allen Flats**

**Bon**

Angus arrived quarter past eight, wearing an adorable beanie in an attempt to flatten his fluffy hair. I hugged him as he walked in, chuckling.

"It's kinda hard to move with your long-ass arms around me, you know."

"Shhh... No tears, only dreams now..." I joked, putting my palm on his mouth. I shouldn't have done that because he licked my hand in protest. I grimaced, letting go of him as he chuckled maliciously. "That's disgusting." I mumbled, wiping my hand on my jeans. Ang leaned against a wall, smirking. He briefly closed his eyes and I took the opportunity to check him out. He was wearing navy skinny jeans and red canvas shoes. A checked shirt was poking out from underneath his black jacket. My eyes wandered to his pale lips, which were slightly parted as he breathed and I had to force myself to stay put. Ang cracked his eyes open and noticed me biting down hard on my lip. He walked up to me, wrapping his arms around my neck, pulling me down so that he could reach before leaning in and connecting our lips. I put my hands on his waist and deepened the kiss, gently nipping at his lower lip. The kiss was slow, cautious and sweet. When we broke apart for air, we stayed in each other's embrace for a while, slowly moving around in a circle.

"Tell me about you." He said after a moment. I smiled softly.

"What do you want to know?"

"Well, the basics. I barely know anything about you."

"Okay. I was born in Scotland, Forfar, would you believe, on July 9th, spent ten years of my life in Australia and then we moved back here... I have two brothers, Derek and Graeme..." Angus smiled.

"Alright, that's enough to be going on, but tell me about  _you_. Your favorites, your dislikes, quirks..."

"My favorite color is... what color are your eyes exactly?" I smirked as he blushed.

"Shut up."

"Okay. It's actually red and black but I do like your eyes."   
  
  


We talked like that for at least half an hour, getting to know each other better. I knew the inevitable question would come up eventually but I also had an important one to ask him. In the meantime, we were watching Pulp Fiction. I decided on that movie after Angus said he'd never seen it before. His head was on my lap and I was absent-mindedly playing with his hair.

"Mia is such an idiot!" He suddenly exclaimed.

"Hm?"

"Who the fuck snorts heroin?" I snickered, agreeing that it was stupid. Even as a user, I couldn't imagine why someone would increase the risk of overdose. "And there she goes! Well done, Mia!"

"I didn't expect you to like this movie so much..."

"Yeah, well," Angus murmured, getting engrossed in the movie once again. I had seen it at least five times before and so I allowed my mind to wander. Was it too early to be getting into a serious relationship? What would Irene think? I wondered if she had moved in with Alistair. Was he the father? Did she want a child? It was her choice but I still hoped she wouldn't abort, even though I definitely wasn't ready to be a father. "You okay?"

"Just thinking."

"Really?" I sensed a hint of sarcasm and was hit with a strong sense of déjà vu.

"Why does everyone say that?"

"Oh come on, I was joking. What're you thinking about?" Angus asked, sitting up.

"Everything."

"Oh." I got the feeling he understood. "I need a smoke, you coming?" I nodded, grabbing my pack from my coat as Ang went out onto the balcony. I joined him and we looked down at the city beneath us. We didn't speak for a long while, each of us lost in thought.

"Are you sure you want this?" I asked quietly. Angus didn't say anything at first, taking a drag of the smoke and slowly breathing out.

"Do I really need to answer that?"

"Yes." I deadpanned and Angus sighed, flicking the ash off as he turned towards me.

"Bon, I've wanted to be with you for so long, it still feels unreal. I lay in bed at night, hoping you're not just playing me. Thinking about you makes me weak at the knees. When we kiss, I feel like I'm floating. It's the best feeling in the world and no one has ever made me feel like that before. When you hold me, I feel safe. I love you, Bon, so don't you dare ask me if I'm sure." He- He  _loves_ me? I didn't expect that. The silence was awkward and Angus coughed out another sigh, putting out the cigarette and walking back inside. I stayed out for a while longer. I glanced inside and saw him chewing his lip while he sat on the couch, running a hand through his hair. I hated seeing him like that because that's not what my silence meant. Walking into the living room again, I headed for the couch and sat beside him, turning his head so that he would look at me.

"I love you too." I whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, near the corner of his lip. He smiled, chuckling nervously.

"I didn't expect you to."

"Well I do." I kissed the tip of his nose and he blushed. I put my arm around him and we unpaused the movie, continuing to watch. As the credits rolled, I noticed he had fallen asleep, head on my shoulder. I barely realised my own eyelids were heavy before I fell into a dreamless slumber.  
  
  


I woke up pressed against the back of the couch, Ang curled up in front of me. Great. While I enjoyed being close to him, it was really uncomfortable and I couldn't move or I'd wake him. Glancing at my watch, I saw it was still early. He suddenly whimpered and I saw him frowning. I realised he was having another nightmare and I put my arm around him, pulling him closer to me, hoping that would be enough. I closed my eyes and was falling asleep again when Angus cried out, breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" I murmured, propping myself up on my shoulder.

"Yeah." He whispered, wiping away his tears.

"D'ya want to talk about it?" Ang shook his head, "Okay. C'mere." I held him while he calmed down.

"I'm s-sorry." He mumbled into my shoulder.

"Don't apologise, you did nothing wrong." I replied, gently rubbing circles on his back. After a while, his breathing evened out again. I picked him up and carried him to my bed, hoping that would prevent further nightmares as well as a stiff neck later. He cuddled up to me, laying his head on my chest, and for the first time in a long time, I was truly happy. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**December 22nd**

**London, UK**

**Allen Flats**

**Angus**

 

I woke up to see Bon looking at me, a small smile playing at his lips. We didn't speak, enjoying the silence. I noticed he had dark circles around his eyes and I frowned.

"Did you not sleep?"

"I wanted to make sure I could comfort you if you had another nightmare. I'm okay." I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

"I can't remember what it was," I lied. I could still see the blood, his lifeless body on those tracks... Telling him would only upset us both so I decided to keep it a secret.

"Okay. Do you have to work today?"

"Yeah but not until noon," I smirked, "Which means we have  _lots_ of time together."

"I like that idea."

 

 

A blissful while later, as we lay exhausted, Bon began talking.

"I'm not addicted to the heroin. I have a problem with alcohol, yes, but not the heroin. I only take it when I'm at the end of my rope. There isn't some profound reason, I just can't deal with my feelings. This whole thing with Irene and the baby has me desperate. Remember me telling you I'm not ready to get married?" I nodded silently, "Well, I'm definitely not ready to be a dad. I just hope it's not mine."

"How far along is she?"

"Can't be more than a month."

"Even if it is yours, I'll do what I can to help. That is, if Irene doesn't mind."

"Thank you." He whispered. I smiled slightly, wiping away a stray tear making its way down his face. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I was told that you had some experience with drugs... Do you want to tell me?"

I sighed, "When I was sixteen, I came out to my family. My father hasn't spoken to me since, my mother pretends I didn't say anything but my brothers made my life hell. The only person who didn't hate me was my sister Margaret but she was away, working in Dublin, so she couldn't support me. That's when I met Curtis. I still don't know his real name. Curtis pretended to be my friend and for a while, I believed him. He eventually got me into E, among other things. He took me to parties, raves, concerts..." I took a shaky breath, remembering everything with too much detail, "He took advantage of the fact that I was young, high and naive and..." I couldn't continue for a long while, shaking uncontrollably. I hated remembering. Bon wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer. I decided to skip the details, "He panicked when I started seizing and he dropped me off at my parents' doorstep. They found me the next morning, unconscious. I spent two weeks in the ICU in a chemically-induced coma. When I woke up, I was told I had overdosed on ecstasy, damaged my liver and nearly died from hyperthermia. The only person by my side was Margaret." I sighed deeply, rubbing my face. Bon didn't speak. "Last I heard, Curtis was in rehab but that was four years ago." When he still stayed silent, I looked up at him to see his eyes dark with rage.

"I'll find him and I'll kill him." 

"That won't be necessary. I want to have you with me instead of in jail."

"He hurt you," I nodded, "so he deserves to be hurt."

"I'm okay, Bon. I'm doing good. I haven't touched any drugs since then, except my cigarettes."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Bon asked, biting his lip. I nodded, reaching up to kiss him. 

"I'm great now that I've got you." I sat up, glancing at my watch. "I've gotta get ready. Jamie will talk if I'm late."

"No, don't go. Stay with me. We can cuddle all day." I smiled.

"That sounds great but I need to go to work. Can I use your shower?"

"Of course. Can I join you?"

 I grinned, "How could I refuse?"

 

After a  _steamy_ shower, in every sense of the word, I was on my way to the coffee shop when a black Mercedes pulled up next to me. I glanced inside to see none other than Brian and Cliff, both wearing shit-eating grins. 

"How many times?" Brian asked, rolling down the window. I walked over, leaning on the door. 

"Twice this morning." I answered smugly. The guys whooped. "How'd you know?"

"I visited Hope and she said you were at his new flat. That and you're  _glowing_ like a fucking forest fairy." Brian shrugged and Cliff snorted with laughter.

"Glad to know I'm so obvious. You wouldn't be headed towards the coffee shop, would ya?" I asked. 

"Hop in." I nodded in thanks, sliding into the backseat. "So! How is he?"

"I wouldn't have thought you'd be the one asking me." I smirked. 

"I'm very curious too, you know." Cliff remarked. I rolled my eyes. 

"He's great. Although now I'm regretting not staying in bed with him." The guys gave a hearty chuckle and I sighed, a small smile playing at my lips. 

 

It was raining heavily as I locked up. The clouds added to the early darkness and the only source of light were the street lamps and lights of the occasional car passing by. I put my keys in my pocket and wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck as I turned around. I saw someone standing behind me, their face obstructed by their umbrella and I gasped, startled. 

"Didn't mean to scare you." The person said and I relaxed, recognising them as Bon.

"Well, you did." I muttered as I walked up, wrapping my arms around him. "What're you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you. I missed you."

"I missed you too," I smiled. It had only been a few hours but I did miss him.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"I'd love that." My boyfriend pulled me closer to ensure the umbrella would protect us both and we began the journey to my apartment. After a while, I asked, "Do you have any plans for Christmas?"

"No, why?"

"Do you want to come to dinner, then?"

"Sure. I'd love to." I grinned widely. "Who else is gonna be there?"

"Me, Hope, Brian, Cliff, maybe Jamie and you."

"Why 'maybe Jamie'?"

"She and Hope had a fight about what they were. Jamie said fuck buddies, Hope said girlfriends." Bon sucked in a sharp breath. I nodded, sighing.

"That's gotta hurt."

"That's why she was pissed a few days ago when you stayed the night." 

"I hope they work it out."

"Me too."

 

When we reached my apartment, I decided that a bit of cliché never hurt anyone so I leaned up to kiss him as we stood in the rain. Bon dropped his umbrella and picked me up, deepening the kiss. I wrapped my legs around his torso, our tongues fighting for dominance. He let out a low moan and I briefly felt weak. I pulled away, breathing heavily. 

"Upstairs,  _now._ " I growled and my boyfriend nodded, carrying me up the stairs. As we stumbled into my room, ripping our clothes off, I realised he abandoned his umbrella. 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**December 23rd,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Bon**

"I don't think I tell you enough how  _brilliant_  you are." I murmured when we were both lying awake that morning. Angus chuckled.

"You don't need to tell me."

"Well, I want to tell you."

"Thank you. I've had some experience."

"I just hope you won't give me an STI." I mumbled and Angus feigned chagrin.

"How could you accuse me of such a thing? If anything, it's me who should be worried."

"Oh, ha, ha." I was going to add a witty comeback but someone knocked on his bedroom door.

"Are you guys decent?" Hope called out. Angus rolled his eyes, putting on a pair of sweatpants as he went to open the door.

"What's up?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Ang nodded and they stepped out of the room for a bit. I decided to get dressed while I waited for them to get back. As I was brushing my hair, my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Ron, hi!" My mother chirped.

"Hi, mum. What's going on?"

"Nothing, hon, I was just going to invite you and Irene over for Christmas." I bit my lip.

"Um, didn't Irene call you?"

"About what?" Mum sounded worried.

I sighed, "She and I aren't together anymore."

"What?" She gasped, "Why, what happened?"

"It doesn't matter, mum, I'll tell you later. Uh..."

"Do you have plans already?"

"Yeah," I chuckled awkwardly, "but I can come over on Christmas Day, if that's alright."

"Of course, love."

"Oh, another thing, mum, can I bring a friend?"

"The more the merrier! How will you get here?"

"There won't be any flights so I'll have to rent a car. I might borrow Brian's."

"Alright, Ronnie, I'll see you then. Who's your friend?"

"His name's Angus. You'll love him."  _I know I do,_ I thought, "Bye, mum. Say hi to Graeme and Derek for me. Dad too."

"Bye, hon." I hung up and turned around to see Angus, fully dressed, smiling at me as he leaned against the door frame.

"I'm meeting your family?"

"If you want to." I bit my lip, hoping he wouldn't say no.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." I breathed out a sigh of relief and walked up to him, pulling him close.

"I love you, so much."I mumbled into his hair. He giggled, wrapping his arms around me tightly. "Okay, Ang, I love you but I can't fucking  _breathe_." I uttered, grimacing. My boyfriend let go and chortled, eyes shimmering. He seemed excited about something and I was certain that wasn't because he would be meeting my family. I knew he wouldn't tell me what it was so instead I just eyed him suspiciously.

"Don't give me that look." He said as he walked out into the hallway. He returned a few seconds later, wearing a black trenchcoat while wrapping a scarf around his neck. "Hungry?"

"Starving."

"There's this new diner nearby. You up for a walk?"

"Sure." Angus nodded and walked out again. I put on my jacket and shoes, walking out to see Ang nibbling on his lip, lost in thought. "You okay?"

"Hm?" He looked at me blankly for a second, "Oh, yeah. Fine. Ready to go?"

"Yep."   
  


After a short while of walking in silence, his hand in mine, I noticed him looking thoughtful.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I asked quietly. Angus nodded and flashed me a fake grin. I decided not to point it out but I gave a small sigh, giving his hand a squeeze. He returned it, leading me into a small diner. The décor inside was that of a traditional sixties diner, complete with the checked floor and red seats. We sat in a booth near the window, silently watching people rushing by. Something was obviously wrong but my boyfriend seemed desperate to pretend it wasn't. A waitress handed us menus and I flicked through it, quickly finding what I wanted. Angus barely opened opened his and I bit my lip. However, he ordered pancakes when the waitress came by again. After that, silence again.

"Why?" He eventually asked. I frowned.

"Why what?"

"Why me?" Ang glanced at me, his eyes betraying nothing. I put my fork down, reaching over to hold his hand.

"Because you're cute. Because you're an amazing person. Because you're funny, nice and loving. Because your smile makes me weak. Because being with you is the most fun I can have, even if we're just sitting in silence. Because you're intelligent and not afraid to stand up for something you care about. Because you make me happy. Do you want me to go on?" When he didn't respond, I continued, "Because you're so fucking attractive, because you're a great friend and a great boyfriend, because you're talented, because you're sweet, because you're the best person I've ever met..." I trailed off, not because of the lack of reasons but because I saw Angus tearing up. I rubbed his hand with my thumb. "Sh, don't cry, it's okay." I whispered, calling the waitress over to pay. Once I did, I quickly ushered him outside, wrapping my arms around him as he tried stifling his sobs.   
"I'm so sorry."

"Shut up, you did nothing wrong."

"I ruined your marriage."

" _I_ ruined my marriage, Ang." I stroked his hair, desperate to make him stop feeling so shit. What triggered it?

"I'm so scared." He mumbled. It had begun raining and I realised how cliché it all was.

"Of what, love?"

"That your parents will hate me, that you'll decide I'm too young, or not good enough..."

"Oh, Angus..." I kissed the top of his head, "Don't say that. They'll love you, just like I do. If anything, you're  _too_ good." We were silently embracing for a while, when we noticed two heavy-set men watching us with disgust. I rolled my eyes, pulling away. "Come on, let's go home." I knew he was uncomfortable under their stares but I hoped being close to me would help.

 

It took us half of the journey to my apartment to realise they were following us. We stopped, Angus holding my hand tightly.

"Can I help you?" I asked brusquely. The slightly taller one of the two crossed his arms.

"Yeah, you can stop flaunting your abnormality."

"Well, I'd appreciate it if you left us alone."

"You're fags," the other one piped up, "which is a sin. Sinners deserve to be punished."

"I'm sure we'll get our punishment in hell. C'mon, Ang." We tried walking away but one of them grabbed my arm, pulling me back. I tried to free myself but he was holding on tight.

"Don't walk away from me."

"Let go." I hissed. The guy holding me gestured to his friend who promptly grabbed Angus. I felt my blood boil and, taking advantage of the fact that my other arm was free, I punched my captor square in the face. He let go of me, bringing his hands up to his bloody nose. His friend hesitated, with his boss knocked down. I was just about to attack him when the leader got a hold of me again. I was helpless again. 

"Oi, wankers!" A woman's voice called. We all looked in the direction it came from and saw a tall girl with long blue hair in a ponytail, wearing a leather jacket, tan aviators, navy skinny jeans and tan Timberland boots. However, what stood out the most was the fact that she was pointing a gold-plated 1911 in our direction. "Let them go."

The boss laughed, "Yeah, right."

"I'm not fucking around here, Tyler." She cocked her gun as though to prove her point and started walking closer. "I'll blow your brains out unless you  _let them go_."

"Okay, okay, you crazy bitch." Tyler's friend glanced at Tyler who nodded. He pushed Angus down and they ran away, disappearing from view. I rushed over to Angus who was holding his head in his hands. 

"You guys okay?" The woman asked. I nodded, looking up at her. 

"Hey, thanks."

"Yeah, don't mention it. Those fuckasses say anything to you?"

"Only that we were sinners that deserve to be punished." I remarked, still angry. 

"Don't let it get to you. They're always hanging around in gay bars anyway. Probably a denial thing." She gave a small smirk, "Gotta dash. Ta-ta!" She was gone before I could ask her name. As I comforted Ang, I was still thinking about the blue-eyed savior.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terrible, terrible, terrible smut below. Couldn't figure out how to add an image so message me if you want to look at Angus with the bags. We'll work something out.

**December 24th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Bon**

I came by Ang's apartment around 10 that morning. He opened the door, laughing hysterically, tears streaming down his cheeks. I frowned, wondering if I should get worried, when I saw what he was laughing at. Hope was lying on the living room floor, sulking, a charred cake next to her.

"Hope tried her hand at cooking." He explained, calming down slightly. "I warned her not to but she had to be better than me."

"It's Christmas! I could hardly go out and buy a fucking Tesco cake, could I?"

"You'd probably burn that too."

"You're a dick." That remark got Angus chuckling again as he gave me a hug. I grinned, staring at their fake tree, lying in a corner.

"We were gonna assemble it but then Hope got the bloody smoke alarm going and she was too embarrassed to turn it off, leaving me, the shortest person is this whole apartment block, to try reach it. I had to get a damn chair to stand on."

"I like your height, you're cute." My boyfriend blushed, smiling. Hope groaned loudly, standing up to throw evidence of her failure in the bin. "You need help?" I gestured towards the tree. Ang nodded.

"Sure. I don't think I trust Hope with the lights."

"Go fuck yourself." Hope muttered, falling onto the couch. My boyfriend smirked.

"Nah, I've got Bon to do that for me." His roommate grimaced and Ang's smile grew. He turned to me and briefly connected our lips, leaving me wanting more. He must have noticed because he leaned up and murmured, "Be patient. We'll have fun later." I felt myself going weak at the knees with anticipation but I tried not to show it too much. My boyfriend turned away and walked over to the coffee table, picking up his phone and tapping out a text. I used that time to hang my coat up and take off my shoes. He seemed to be doing well, considering last night.

We finally finished decorating the tree two hours later, a few baubles smashed on the floor around us. Hope was bitter about her failure and kept throwing them at us. However, despite that, we had fun. When I propped him up to put the last ornament up, he twisted around to kiss me. He seemed desperate for physical contact of some kind because he kept brushing his hand off mine and hugging me, kissing me. Not that I minded but it was a bit strange. As we kissed, me holding him off the ground, his legs wrapped around me, the front door opened and someone walked in, throwing a bunch of leaves at us. We broke away and I saw that it was mistletoe, thrown by no other than Jamie.

"Hilarious." Angus remarked, as I put him down.

"I had to do something to make you guys stop being gross."

"You're just jealous of my extremely hot boyfriend." Ang stuck his tongue out at her and picked up the bauble shards, throwing them in the trash. We exchanged a look when Jamie and Hope kissed but decided to stay silent. I assumed that meant they talked it out.

"Such hypocrites," Ang mumbled, throwing the mistletoe back at them. I smirked as he came up to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Want to go last minute shopping with me?"

"Of course."

It rained while we were in the shopping centre and when we left, Ang carrying bags, I decided it was the perfect opportunity to take a picture of him. He looked completely done and I chuckled, deciding it was perfect.  I immediately set it as my background and we kept walking back slowly, loosely holding hands.

"I love you," I murmured, smiling. Angus smiled back, standing up taller to be able to kiss my cheek. I really did find his height adorable. Irene was a bit taller than me and I always felt inadequate when she wore heels.

"What are you thinking about?" My boyfriend asked.

"Nothing, really. Just about how cute you are."

"Shut up," he giggled, "I'm not cute."

"Yeah, you are."

When we returned to his apartment, the girls weren't there. As soon as we closed the front door behind us, Angus threw the bags on the floor and connected our lips fiercely. I was surprised for a moment but soon began to lose myself in the moment. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed him against a wall, deepening the kiss. He licked my lips and I granted him entrance, our tongues fighting for dominance. I let him win, my hands trailing lower, putting my thumbs into the belt loops of his jeans, where they lingered for a while, until he physically moved them lower. I put my hands into his back pockets and he moaned softly, tugging on my hair. Smirking, I moved my hands onto the front of his jeans and began unbuttoning but Ang stopped me, breaking away.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't feel like doing this in the hallway. Bedroom,  _now._ " I decided a bed would be much more comfortable and so we quickly relocated there. As soon as Ang locked the door, he dropped the keys and pushed me onto the bed, straddling my hips as he leaned down to kiss me again. This time, it was me moaning, as he unbuttoned my shirt and trailed his hands down my chest. I broke away, partly for air and partly to make it easier to take off his shirt. As soon as it was off, our lips were joined again.   


"God, the sounds you made..." He mumbled, yawning. I opened my eyes to look at him. His hair was tied in a loose ponytail and I smiled gently, watching his chest rising and falling as his breathing evened out. I wanted to compliment him but I didn't know how. He was too good for me to find the right words. Instead, I opted for a kiss. He tried pushing me away, mumbling something about having to brush his teeth but I told him to shush. Since neither of us had the energy to start making out again, the kiss was short and sweet before we decided silently embracing would be the least energy consuming activity and so we did.

===

As we lay half-asleep, my arm around him, Ang murmured,

"You awake?"

"Mm." I replied, not finding the energy to open my eyes.

"We need to get up, the others will be here soon."

"No. Cuddles." Angus chuckled.

"Never thought Bon Scott was a cuddler."

"Yeah, well." I mumbled, pulling him closer. All I wanted to do was sleep, even just for a few minutes. Ang sighed blissfully and I smiled. "You know we won't be able to do this at my parents', right?"

"I think I can go a day without sex. I'm not a horny teenager." He remarked sleepily.

"Teenager, no. Horny, yeah."

"Like you aren't."

"True."

"How are we even getting there?"

"I'll probably ask to borrow Brian's car. Knowing him, he'll get so shitfaced tonight, he'll be recovering all of tomorrow."

"You're probably right. God, I'm so tired."

"Me too. Let's sleep."

"Just... Five minutes..." Ang mumbled before dozing off, with me following soon after.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**December 25th,**

**London / Forfar, UK**

**Skylark Apartments** **/ Rose House**

**Angus**

Being the only sober person in the whole apartment wasn't as much fun as it seemed. Brian made a point of getting completely wasted so we wouldn't have to return his car until the day after. I sarcastically told him I missed his self-destructive habits and he just winked at me, pouring himself another glass. Bon promised not to get drunk and I could see him sipping at the same glass of scotch since everyone arrived but I still wasn't gonna let him drive. I was drinking my second coffee, miserably watching Hope and Jamie making out while the guys were laughing at something or other. The only thing cheering me up was Bon's hand holding mine under the table. No one noticed until he leaned over to kiss me. I blushed, enjoying that he wasn't ashamed to be affectionate. However, the guys whooped loudly and gave us knowing glances. I chuckled, shaking my head as I got up to put my mug away, preparing myself for a long night of driving.

____

Bon had told his parents we'd arrive around nine in the morning, having left at midnight. Bon was falling asleep in the passenger seat, though he was trying not to. I kept assuring him it was okay, that I'd drive for a while and his head lolled back eventually as he drifted into a slumber. I was tired too but I knew I'd rather keep pulling over to get some air rather than let my tipsy boyfriend risk our lives. 

A few hours later, he woke up and told me we'd switch. He sounded sober so I didn't protest, wanting to sleep for at least an hour so I wouldn't look like a zombie. I wanted to make a good impression on his parents and having dark bags under my eyes wouldn't help with that. 

\-------

"Ang, love, wake up. We're here." Bon whispered. I opened my eyes, blinking away the sleep. He stepped out of the car, grabbing our bags. I walked out and helped him as he locked the car and gave me a quick hug of reassurance. "They'll love you." 

"I hope so." I mumbled, following him to the front door. He knocked twice and the door flew open, a young man standing behind it. 

"Ron!"  _Ron?_

"Hi, Derek!" Bon embraced the man who then looked at me. 

"Hey, I'm Derek, Ron's brother." We shook hands while I told him my name. Derek nodded and let us both in, closing the door. Bon's brother left us alone in the hallway for a second and I turned to him, an amused look on my face.

"Ron?"

"I thought you knew." Bon mumbled, looking embarrassed. "My full name's Ronald Belford Scott, but  _please_ don't call me either of those names." I giggled, deciding to use that information later. Another man walked down the stairs and threw himself at Bon.

"Hiya, Graeme." He smiled and I realized it was his youngest brother.

"Hey, I'm Angus." Graeme and I shook hands and he led us into the kitchen where Bon's mum was.

"Ronnie!" His mother exclaimed, hugging her son.

"Hey mum."

"You're Angus, I presume?" She turned to me, smiling. I nodded.

"Correct. Nice to meet you, Mrs Scott."

"Isa, please. My husband, Chick, will be home in an hour." I nodded, oddly scared of meeting Bon's father.

"Let's go, Ang, we'll put our bags in the rooms." Bon told me, walking out of the kitchen and I followed.

"Are we sleeping separately?" I murmured as we walked up the stairs. Bon smirked.

"Makes it easier to keep my hands off you."

"I don't want you to keep your hands off me." Bon threw me a look and jogged up the rest of the steps, opening a door on the far end of the hall.

"Wow. Nothing's changed." I followed and looked inside the room, obviously Bon's old one. There were some posters on the walls, a double bed in the corner and a lot of photos, collectibles and records. Before I even knew what was happening, Bon had pushed me into the room, shutting the door.

"Wh-" I was cut off by his lips attaching to mine. I secretly loved it when he got all dominant but I didn't think messing around in his old room would go well with his family so I pushed him away gently, staring into his eyes, darkened with lust. "Who's the horny teenager now?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I just don't want to have sex in your old room. It'd be a little weird." I leaned up to kiss him softly and grinned. "I love you."

**December 25th,**

**Forfar, UK**

**Rose House**

**Bon**

I stroked his hair gently, placing a kiss on top of his head. Just then, the door burst open and Graeme ran in. Ang and I jumped away from each other but it was obvious he already saw.

"What the fuck?" My brother asked, chuckling in disbelief. I shrugged, crossing my arms.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Graeme grimaced.

"Oh God, I've seen too much already. I can only imagine what you two have done alone." I rolled my eyes, slapping my brother's arm. "But wait, what about Irene?"

"What about her?"

"I thought you two were getting married!"

" _Were."_

"Alright, alright!" My younger brother yelled as I attempted to push him out of the room. "Use protection, though!" That last remark nearly made me chase him down the stairs, then I remembered that we weren't kids anymore. I turned to Ang, who was giggling.

"I love it when you get dominant and possessive, by the way."

"Don't forget, you're mine forever." Ang's eyes widened in mock surprise.

"Are you proposing to me?"

"How could you tell?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"Well," Ang began, striking a dramatic pose, "I don't think I'm ready for marriage just yet. My parents won't approve."

"But I have money!" I whinged, and Ang looked at me.

"In that case..." We couldn't keep it up, bursting out laughing.

"Seriously though, I wouldn't mind marrying you." I told him and he gave me a small smile.

"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it, 'kay?" I nodded and flopped onto my old bed, hearing the springs groan. I relaxed my whole body and was suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion.

"D'ya think we have time to take a nap?" I mumbled, already half-asleep

"Probably." Ang replied, laying down next to me. "I'll wake you up in an hour, alright?" I nodded and immediately drifted into a dreamless slumber.

"Hey, Bon, wake up." Ang murmured, placing a kiss on my forehead. I opened my eyes, feeling like no time had passed since I closed them. Stretching, I sat up and noticed he had washed his hair and changed into a more formal outfit, black jeans and a blazer. "I talked to your brothers." He told me, smirking.

"Oh, God." I groaned.

"They threatened to kill me if I hurt you." I sighed as he chuckled. "It's okay, I get it."

"Still, I'm sorry they tortured you."

"Nah, after their warning, we had a nice conversation. About you, mostly."

"Good to know. My dad back yet?"

"Yeah. We met." Ang paused, grinning. "It was scary. He was intimidating."

"But you did it, right?" Ang nodded and leaned over to kiss me. I pulled him onto my lap and deepened the kiss, brushing my fingers through his hair. A knock on the door broke us apart and Ang stood up to open it. Graeme stood behind it, shielding his eyes.

"Stop being a dumbass." I muttered, walking up to smack the back of his head.

"Ow! All I came up here for was to tell you guys dinner was ready! Fuck!" My brother turned to Angus, "Do you see this shit? He abuses me!" Ang chuckled. Graeme walked away, muttering something about hating me.

===

After a mostly uneventful dinner, we were all sitting in the living room, beside the fireplace. My parents were sipping at spiced mulled wine while my brothers and I went for buttered rum. Angus stuck with the hot apple cider, earning himself a good few points with my mum who looked at him, disbelieving, when he said he was teetotal. With both my parents buzzed, the atmosphere was light and playful. My parents still didn't know Angus was my boyfriend but I presumed they had guessed. Graeme told Derek and now they were both eyeing us knowingly as we sat away from each other, the distance definitely platonic. I knew the positive atmosphere couldn't last forever when, an hour later, Derek had gotten drunk.

"So, Ron!" I rolled my eyes, preparing myself for his inevitable question. "Where's Irene?"

"London," I deadpanned.

"Yeah, but why? She's your fiancée!"

" _Was_ my fiancée." I answered, sighing. "I found someone else."

"Already?" My mother piped up. I looked at her, silently begging her not to continue. I didn't want this discussion with everyone buzzed up except Ang, who was definitely already feeling the awkwardness. She either deliberately ignored my plea or didn't notice it. "Who is it? What's her name?"

" _His_ name doesn't matter." I mumbled, staring into my mug.

"His?" Mum asked, sounding as though she believed I was messing around.

"Yes. Is that a problem?" I snapped.

"No need to be defensive, hon. Of course it's not a problem but..." My mum trailed off. My dad continued for her,

"Are you sure? I mean, your mother and I always believed you were straight."

"I had a boyfriend for three years!" I exclaimed, incredulous.

"We gotta be honest with you, darling, none of us thought that was serious." My dad mumbled and I felt my eyes burning. How could they? I didn't say anything to that, storming out of the front door and into Brian's car. After a short while, Angus joined me and we sat in silence as I tried to calm down.

"How could they say it wasn't serious?! I was a mess for  _seven years_  after Lee!" I finally exclaimed, exasperated. Ang shushed me gently, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I'm sorry you lost him. I know it's painful. It's okay, I'm here for you." I bit my lip, not wanting to cry.

"It's my fault he's dead."

"Bonnie, don't blame yourself. There's no way his death was your fault."

"I shouldn't have yelled at him. I'm the reason he got into that car."

"Maybe but you did  _not_  kill him. It's not your fault." Angus said sternly, looking at me. I stared into his eyes, searching for any indication of him lying but all I saw was worry and concern. Sighing, I leaned into him, his arms wrapping around me.

"I love you."

"I know. I love you too." Ang stroked my hair, "We need to talk to your parents calmly. Explain this to them. They're just shocked."

"I don't want to explain. I want them to finally believe me when I say I'm bisexual. It's been fourteen years."

"How many boyfriends have you had in those fourteen years?"

"Two."

"Exactly." Ang was calm, rational. I needed that. "I'm sure that they'll accept us, you just need to give them time." I sighed, blinking away any tears threatening to spill over and Ang smiled softly. "Come on, we all need to talk."

===

The four of us sat in the kitchen, as my parents tried to take back what they said.

"I loved him. You guys knew I couldn't get over him for eight years."

"We know, we're sorry. We just... We hoped it was a phase."

"Well, it wasn't." I mumbled, glancing at them, "Is it a problem that it wasn't?"

"Honey, of course it isn't. We just need some time to get used to it."

"You had fourteen years." I remarked angrily.

"We're really sorry, Ronnie. It's perfectly fine. We still love you."

"Okay." I was still angry at them but I decided to give it a rest.

"So, what's the deal with Irene?"

"Well, it was a mutual decision." I glanced at them again, showing them I wasnt going to delve deeper.

"Okay. Will you tell us who your new boyfriend is?" Mum asked, leaning forward excitedly. Ang gave my hand a squeeze under the table and I took a deep breath.

"Actually... It's Ang." No one spoke for a while, my parents processing it while I chewed on my lip. My father's face broke out into a grin while my mother scowled. She reluctantly took her wallet out from her pocket and handed my dad a fifty.

"Seriously?!" I exclaimed, incredulous. "You guys bet on it?!"

"I knew from the moment I saw you two in the same room. Your mother was intent on believing you were just good friends. She kind of managed to convince me but I still win, Isa!" I shook my head, putting my hands up to my face while Ang chuckled. "Seriously, boys, we're happy for you but, um... If you don't mind me asking, Angus, how old are you?"

"Twenty-one. To answer your next question, yes we know the age gap is quite large but I don't think that'll ever cause problems." Dad nodded and grinned. 

"As long as you're happy, so are we."

"We are, dad." I told him. 

"Good. Come on, lads, I think I can hear Graeme and Derek breaking everything in the living room." Sure enough, something smashed and my older brother cussed loudly, while Graeme laughed hysterically. My parents left to see what was happening but Ang and I stayed in the kitchen for a while longer, silently hugging. 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**December 25th,**

**London, UK**

**Rose House**

**Angus**

"Do you like it?" My boyfriend asked, grinning. I gawked at him.

"Are you serious? Do I  _like_  it?!" I still couldn't believe he'd spend so much money on me. How did he even know I wanted it?

"Hope let it slip." He answered my unspoken question. I chuckled incredulously, then beamed at him.

"It's beautiful. I love it. Thank you so much!" We were sitting in Bon's room, exchanging our personal gifts. He insisted on giving his first. It was a cherry red Gibson SG. Exactly the one I'd been wanting for years. After a while of me excitedly tuning it and trying it out, I hugged my boyfriend tightly, grinning. I handed him my gift. Bon quickly unwrapped it to reveal a black, studded biker jacket. "You mentioned wanting a bike... I decided to start you off." I explained as he tried it on.

"Am I sexy yet?" He asked, striking a macho pose. I giggled, walking up to him.

"You're always sexy."

"Shut  _up_!" Derek yelled from the room adjacent to Bon's.

"You wanna piss him off even more?" Bon murmured, voice deep and sultry. I smirked, biting my lip provocatively. Just before our lips met, my phone rang. I glanced at it, seeing  _Margaret_ flash on the screen. "You gonna get that?"

"Later. We can't do this here, though."

"I see your point. However, we have the car and I have a place we can go."

"Sounds like a plan." I replied and we quickly made our way to the car.

===

The place Bon took me to wasn't anything too extraordinary. It was a little abandoned orchard in the middle of nowhere. The setting didn't matter, though. I could honestly care less about that, at that moment. \------ 

"Fuck, you're good." I mumbled, trying to calm my breathing. Bon chuckled.

"So are you. Shit, Brian is going to kill us if he finds out." I responded with a giggle. Bon was right, of course, but it didn't matter then.

"How do you even know Brian? I mean, he never mentioned you..."

"Dick. We went to the same school and then he was Lee's best friend."

"Small world." I muttered, stretching.

"So it is. You can sleep, I'll drive." We stepped out and around the car, switching places. Bon started the engine but didn't move the car, turning to face me. "Have I told you yet that I love you?"

"Yeah. I love you, too." I gave him a reassuring smile and put a hand on his knee, wanting him to understand I meant it. Still, I could see some worry visible on his face.

"Do you... Do you think we're having too much sex?"

"Do  _you_? So far, I think you've initiated it more often than me, which doesn't mean I think it's too much. I like it when you get dominant, I told you already."

"You'd tell me if you didn't want it, though, right?"

"Of course. Nothing we've done so far has made me uncomfortable or pushed me beyond my comfort zone. I will never hesitate to tell you to stop if that does happen." I looked into his eyes, intertwining our fingers. "I want you to tell me if you're uncomfortable too, okay? Communication is the only way this'll work. And I want it to."

"So do I. Okay, I'll tell you. Thank you. You always manage to reassure me." Bon gave me a small smile and I squeezed his hand gently, silently letting him know everything was okay.

===

When we arrived at Bon's parent's house again, I saw I missed twenty more calls from Margaret. I excused myself and called her back, expecting her to yell at me for not answering.

"Hello?"

"Angus, where have you been? I kept calling..." My sister's voice was panicked and I immediately knew something had happened.

"What is it, Marge? Are you okay?"

"It's Malcolm, Ang, he's been in an accident." My sister explained, "He's in Croydon University Hospital, on a ventilator. You should come see him." I couldn't say anything for a long time, my ears ringing.

"He doesn't want to see me."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, can you two not talk this shit out when he's better? Right now, he could die. He acted like a dick, yes, but he's still your brother. Come see him or you'll regret it for the rest of your life." Margaret hung up after ranting at me and I put my phone into my pocket as I fell onto Bon's bed. I turned my head to see Bon leaning against the doorframe.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I mumbled, sighing.

"What happened?"

"My brother's in the hospital, he had an accident, and my sister wants me to see him." Bon silently urged me to go on, as he sat beside me, holding my hand. "He ruined my life. We used to be best friends. If you dared talk shit about my older brother, you'd get punched. And then, he completely turned me away, when I needed his support the most. He got George and Alexander to hate me, too. Alex never really bothered, having a wife and expecting a kid but George and Malcolm were intent on making my life miserable." I laughed bitterly. "How can Margaret expect me to come see him after what he's done?"

"I know what he did isn't excusable, but if anything bad were to happen and you two didn't talk it out, you would beat yourself up over it for years. You should go see him. Even if neither of you want to."

"I want him to love me again, I want us to be brothers." I mumbled, rolling over and burying my face in the pillows.

"When's the last time you talked to him?" My boyfriend asked. I shrugged.

"Like, five years ago?"

"How do you know he doesn't regret what he did? You're both adults now. Maybe he wants to apologize but doesn't know how?"

"Just call me and say he's sorry."

"Would you listen?" I didn't reply, knowing he was right. "Don't be stupid. It's better to go see him and be shot down than to not see him and regret it."

"I guess you're right. Thanks."

"Anytime." 


	17. Chapter 17

**December 25th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments / Croydon University Hospital**

**Angus**

We arrived at my apartment the next morning, having left earlier than planned. After Bon and I talked, I was suddenly scared. I didn't want my brother to die. I was still bitter about what he did to me but at the end of the day, he was my brother. Bon had promised to drop me down to Croydon but he had to go do something first. He didn't tell me what, but it was okay. I wasn't quite ready to see Malcolm yet.

I had just finished getting dressed when Bon told me to come downstairs where he was waiting. I slid into the warm car, shivering at the sudden temperature change.

"Hi." I mumbled, avoiding eye contact.   
"Are you okay?" I nodded but Bon knew I was lying. He didn't try to get a different answer from me, simply placing his hand on my leg. It wasn't at all sexual, it was simply a reassuring gesture. I appreciated that. We still hadn't gotten over the new relationship and we still wanted to fuck each other senseless but I liked that it wasn't all we thought about. "Do you want me to come inside with you?"

"Please." I glanced at him and he nodded.

"Okay."

===

"I'm scared."

"It's okay. I'm here." Bon whispered as we walked to the ICU. Our shoes squeaked on the polished floor and the smell of disinfectant was strong in the air. I tightened my hold on my boyfriend's hand and bit my lip when we reached Mal's room. I knocked on the door gingerly, seeing the blinds on the glass were shut. It opened to reveal a tall, blonde woman with bags under her eyes.

"Hi, I'm Linda, Mal's wife. You must be Angus?" I nodded, shaking her hand.

"Yes, how did you know?"

"Your brother talks about you a lot. Do you want to come see him?"  _Not particularly,_ I thought but entered the room anyway. There, I saw my siblings sitting around a hospital bed. Alexander wasn't there, probably too busy with his kids, but Margaret and George were. Margaret jumped up to hug me, while George just glared at me and Bon. I sighed, watching my brother's chest rising and falling rhythmically, thanks to the machine hooked up to him.

"Doctor's say that if he wakes up, he'll be looking at a full recovery."

"I'm guessing he hasn't yet?" Margaret shook her head sadly.

"This is your fault." George murmured, avoiding my eyes. "He had that accident going to see you."

"How can I possibly be to blame? I wasn't aware he was coming!" I exclaimed angrily. How could he still blame me for everything that goes wrong?

"Boys, not now." A doctor chided us, walking into the room. "He can hear you. His heart rate is up." We all instinctively looked at the monitor and became aware of the rapid beeping. The woman checked over his vitals and frowned. She pushed some buttons on his ventilator and turned to face us. "His O2 sats are low even on the ventilator. He's obviously stressed. Don't argue. I don't want to have to give him a sedative, or worse, stick one of you. I don't know what's going on between you all but it can wait." With that, the doctor left the room. We all sat in silence, watching Malcolm. Eventually, George had to leave, to go back to work. I was secretly glad. I'd had enough of his disapproving glares. A short while after he left, my brother's eyes fluttered open and Margaret ran out to get a doctor. He didn't look at his wife, or Bon. He just kept looking at me. The doctor walked back in, checking his pupils. Seemingly satisfied with the result, she told him, "I'm gonna need to take out the tubes in your throat to see if you can breathe unassisted. Exhale while I do it, okay?" Mal did as she asked and when the ventilator was removed, his breathing sounded labored. The doctor walked over to the crash cart in one corner of the room and took out an oxygen mask which she put on my brother's face. He took a deep breath and nodded at her gratefully. "Okay. I'll need to ask you some questions, to see if your brain is okay. Do you know who you are?"

"M- Malcolm Young." My brother croaked. The doctor nodded.

"Do you remember what happened?" My brother shook his head, then grimaced with pain. "You were in a car accident. You have a minor concussion, whiplashb and a fractured rib, as well as a collapsed lung. Could you rate your pain, on a scale of one to ten?"

"Around eight."

"Okay. I'll up your morphine. If there's anything you need, just let me know." Mal nodded slightly and the doctor left. Linda embraced her husband and he smiled gently, weakly lifting a hand to stroke her hair. He hugged Margaret briefly too before speaking,

"I want to talk to my brother. Alone." Bon gave my hand a squeeze before following the girls out into the hallway. My brother gestured for me to come closer.

"Hello, Malcolm." I muttered, feeling his gaze on me.

"How are you doing, Ang?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Been better."

"You're still mad at me, aren't you?" I scoffed.

"Does that surprise you?" My brother shook his head.

"I wanted to apologize."

"You think an apology makes up for three years of hell?! I exclaimed, exasperated. "For three years, I was convinced you hated me. I couldn't understand what I did wrong. I mean, it's not like you were ever homophobic. Everyone else got your support, except me. Why? I thought we were supposed to support each other?" My brother looked away, sighing.

"I - I can't tell you. I'm so sorry."

"Why the fuck not?!" I was beginning to lose my patience. "It's been five years! What could possibly be so bad you can't tell me?"

"I loved you, okay?" Mal yelled at me and immediately lapsed into a coughing fit. I tried to figure out what he meant. If he loved me, why did he make me think he hated me? "I loved you and I couldn't deal with that. And then you told us all and - and I thought I stood a chance. " Only then did I realise what he meant. I felt myself going paler and I felt lightheaded.

"I- I, um, I need some - some air, I-" I stammered, stumbling out of the room. The only person out in the hallway was Bon who stood up when he saw me. I blinked and felt myself falling forward. However, instead of hitting the ground, I felt strong arms catch me.

"What's wrong, Ang? You okay?" I shook my head, putting a hand to my mouth. I regained my balance and ran for the nearest bathroom. 

====

After emptying the contents of my stomach twice, I washed my mouth out and glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked greenish but mostly pale and my eyes were bloodshot. I had no idea why it was affecting me so much. I shuffled out of the bathroom and into the hallway again, seeing Bon pacing anxiously.

"Take me home." I whispered, shivering even though the hospital wasn't cold. My boyfriend nodded. He didn't pry, he didn't talk when he saw I wasn't in the mood to.

Arriving at my apartment, I made a beeline for my room. When I saw Bon wasn't following me, I turned and gestured for him to. And as we lay together, tears silently dripping onto my pillow, I thought about how fucked up my life was. 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**December** **25** **th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Bon**

Angus finally calmed down a few hours later, when he sat up and looked at me, sadness in his eyes.

"He said he loved me." He whispered, voice cracking. I didn't understand what he meant. I wasn't sure I wanted to understand. "He was _in love_  with me." I didn't speak, simply bringing him closer to me. "Why was he in love with me? We're brothers. It's not normal."

"It's okay." I murmured into his hair.

"It's not okay! My  _brother_ wanted to sleep with me! How is that okay?!" He exclaimed, his voice muffled with his face in my shoulder. I sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry, Ang. It isn't okay, and it won't be for a long time. It'll take you guys a while before it's not awkward and then you'll need to catch up on the five years you missed. But eventually, it will be okay. In the meantime, I'm here for you."

"Thank you. I love you so much, and I'm so thankful you're in my life." Angus told me, looking up at me with teary eyes. I was gonna hug him again when I felt the familiar tightness in my chest. I pushed him away gently and sat on the edge of the bed, trying to get as much air as possible.

"Bon, what's wrong?" Ang asked worriedly as I wheezed. I shook my head, gasping for a breath.

"N-nothing." I coughed, feeling my eyes filling with tears. "M-my ja-jacket." Ang ran out into the hallway to get it and I took it from him gratefully, searching the pockets with shaky hands. I finally found what I needed, when my vision was beginning to go dark and weakly put the inhaler in my mouth, taking a deep breath. When the meds started working, I let out a relieved sigh, wiping away the tears.

"The hell was that? You have asthma?"

"It doesn't... Doesn't usually flare up li-like this." I answered, still breathing heavily.

"Why didn't you mention it earlier?"

"Didn't seem relevant." I mumbled, shrugging.

"What triggered this attack?" I shook my head.

"No idea. Could've been the stress, some dust, I don't know. It's okay now, though."

"That was fucking scary." Ang murmured, wrapping his arms around me. "I thought you were gonna die." I chuckled breathlessly.

"I haven't been this breathless since, what was it, Christmas Eve?"

"Shut up." Ang giggled, as we both remembered.

"Funny how that didn't trigger an attack, huh?"

"I'm just  _that_ good."

"You are good. Brilliant. Fantastic." I grinned at him. "I love you."

"Is it just because I give good head? How shallow."

"No, idiot, I love you because you're amazing in every way. I  _am_  curious about how you learned to give such great blowjobs."

"Let's just say, my eighteenth birthday was pretty wild."

"Ooh." I rolled into my side to face him. "You're so beautiful." I mumbled after a while, stroking his cheek.

"Shut up, you cheeseball."

"No, really, I'm still in awe of how good looking you are. You're the most beautiful, most handsome guy I've ever seen. I'm so lucky to have you, and not just cause you're nice to look at." I intertwined our fingers and smiled. "Your hands are so soft."

"That's what a three year dry spell does to you." Angus remarked sarcastically and I snickered.

"Shut  _up._ " Ang grinned and leaned in to kiss me softly.

"You're beautiful too, you know."

"Nah." I smiled. "I'm okay with that. You can be the pretty one, I'll be the tall one."

"You're not tall."

"Taller than you."

"Like that's hard to achieve."

"It's okay, you're cute."

" _Stop_ being cheesy!" Ang exclaimed, halfheartedly trying to slap my arm. I grinned and we fell silent for a while, enjoying each other's company. He seemed to be desperate for a distraction and I was okay with being that distraction. I just wanted him to be happy. "But wait," Ang spoke after a while, "If you're asthmatic, why the fuck do you smoke?"

I burst out laughing, "Why do you?"

"Cause I'm addicted? Not that they taste good, cause they don't -"

"Exactly. I've got an addictive personality and smoking takes the edge off if I'm stressed. Makes sense I'm not too keen on giving it up."

"You should."

"I will if you will."

"Oh, you bastard." Ang murmured, smiling. "Fine."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

" _Really_."

"Yes! Unlike you, I can actually kick some habits."

"That's just mean."

"I  _am_  mean."

"No, you're not. Hey," I murmured, smiling. Angus looked into my eyes, silently telling me to go on, "I love you."

"You gonna keep saying that?" He giggled. I shrugged.

"If it bothers you, I'll stop."

"No, no it's - it's nice. Keep saying it." I smiled, brushing his hair from his face.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How many partners have you had?"

"Altogether, I think five," Ang told me, "There was Jake, Ellen, Alex, Curtis and you. You're my favorite."

"Thanks."

"Jake and I hated each other in school. We'd have pointless arguments, fights... Tension kept building up and you can guess how that went. Really, we just thought we'd see what it was all about. We went our separate ways after that. Ellen was me trying to convince myself I was straight. She was a nice girl. We were great friends We still are, but she's married and seven months pregnant so we haven't talked for a while. Alex, I'm ashamed to admit, was a rebound after Ellen and I decided it wouldn't work. You know about Curtis. And then there's you."

"Wow. That's pretty eventful."

"I'm hoping there won't be anyone else after you." Angus whispered, smiling softly. Silence fell between us as I processed the meaning behind that. "Tell me about Lee. If you don't mind, of course." 

"Lee... I had been denying my sexuality because of him. I didn't want to be attracted to him because he was way out of my league. Kinda like you are. He was sarcastic and cynical but he was a great guy. It took a lot for him to trust someone but when he did, it was huge. We met at a party, when I was sitting outside alone, sipping at a bottle of cheap beer and smoking my third cigarette in a row. He sat beside me on the steps and we started talking about anything we could think of. I suppose it was because he was drunk as fuck. I was the one who helped him get over his killer hangover the next morning." I laughed lightly, remembering. "He threw up on me twice. He called the next day, apologizing, saying he wanted to make it up to me by taking me out somewhere. Next thing you know, we're talking about marriage. We had a fight over something stupid that I can't even remember and he stormed out. It was raining, Lee was angry..." My voice cracked. "A month into his coma, his heart suddenly gave out. That was it. He was gone."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. You'd have been like nine at the time."

"Mm, shut up, that sounds weird."

"Oh, it does. Sorry." I grimaced, wanting to get rid of those thoughts. "Does the age gap bother you?"

"We're both adults now, right? Doesn't matter if it's a year or nine."

"Yeah, true." I smiled. "You should get some sleep. You've had a long day."

"Don't leave."

"I wasn't going to." I replied. Ang nodded and closed his eyes, not bothering with a pillow, deciding to use me instead. Sighing softly, I closed my eyes too.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**December 26th,**

**London, UK**

**?????????**

**?????????**

My boots stomped heavily on the wet pavement as I ran. I could hear them behind me but I didn't dare check how close they were. It would only slow me down. I turned a sharp corner into an alleyway and took cover behind a dumpster, grimacing at the smell. Trying to calm my breathing as much as possible, I heard them stop and speak in a hushed whisper. The alleyway was dark which I was thankful for. I tried shifting myself into a slightly more comfortable position and I must have done it loudly. They turned into the alley, guns drawn and I cursed under my breath, resuming the chase. It had started raining again and my hair was wet almost immediately. It hung in limp streaks and stuck to my face, but I had no hairband to tie it back. Sighing in resignation, I gathered all my energy and jumped up, clinging onto a retractable ladder. I climbed up and quickly pulled it back, hoping to slow them down. Now on the roof of a building, I glanced around, scanning my surroundings. Seeing another building nearby, I sprinted to the edge of the roof and leapt to the other one, rolling when I landed. Immediately hopping to my feet, I saw an open skylight. Not seeing them anywhere, I looked inside and found the building was empty. I braced myself for the fall and jumped down. It was then that I heard an alarm beeping.

"Oh,  _fuck._ " I hissed, running as fast as my legs would take me, down the stairs and out the front door before I triggered the security system. Out on the street again, I quickly checked my watch. It was three am, meaning I had nowhere to hide. Choosing a random direction, I kept running until I reached an apartment block where the front door had been left open by a stone wedged in the frame. Giving it a shove, I was sheltered from the rain and cold, at least for a while. I seemed to have lost them for the moment. Sitting on the steps, I took off my leather jacket, wistfully looking at the torn sleeve. Blood had stained the inside and upon closer inspection, I saw that my dark purple tank top had a stain too. My arm was hurting like a bitch but the bleeding had slowed. I sighed, wrapping my jacket around it tightly as I leaned against a wall and closed my eyes, not noticing when I had fallen asleep.

**December 26th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

I woke up in Bon's arms, our legs tangled. It didn't seem like he was gonna let go any time soon but I was okay with that. My boyfriend was sound asleep, snoring softly. I twisted around slightly to be able to look at him. I still couldn't believe he loved me. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand and sighed, seeing it was still very early. I tried gently prying his hands away from me as I needed to pee and was feeling the nagging hunger for nicotine but that just ended with him holding me even tighter.

"'m not letting go." He mumbled and I felt a small smile creeping onto my face.

"You're not asleep, are you?"

"Yes I am, shut up."

"Let go, please, I need to pee."

"No."

"Why not?"

"'Cause, it's warm and comfy like this  _and_ I know you were gonna smoke in the bathroom. Probably blow it into the vents so I wouldn't be able to tell."   
"You dick."

"Irritability. Symptom of withdrawal. Makes sense you'd want to satisfy your hunger."

"Congrats,  _Sherlock._ " I mumbled, smiling. "I'm fine. How about you?"

"Splendid. I'm not addicted, really. Hey, tell you what -- if you manage to do this, I'll make it worth your while." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Oh, yeah?"

"I can give you a taste of it now..."

"I need to brush my teeth though."

"Screw it." Shrugging, I allowed myself to enjoy it.  _It_ was just lazy kisses but I enjoyed being so close to him. However, before anything else could happen, Hope knocked on the door. Bon and I sighed as I told her she could come in.

"There's a girl out in the stairwell. Sitting in a pool of her own blood." I frowned, standing up.

"Is she conscious?"

"Barely." Bon sat up too, running a hand through his hair.

"Call 911."

"I tried," my roommate said, "but she protested. Said she was being chased."   
"And you listened to her? She's delirious!" Bon exclaimed. Hope rolled her eyes at him and they had a glaring match for a while before she announced,

"She's got a gun." 

\--- 

The girl was the same one that saved Bon and I a few days ago. Hope was trying to convince her to go to the hospital but she was having none of it.   
"What's your name?" I asked, sitting across from her.

"Harley." Her voice was weak but she was still smirking, as though she didn't care that she had a large gash on her arm. "Don't need a hospital. What I  _do_ need is some disinfectant, a needle and thread and some bandages. A rag and some whiskey will do, really." Bon sighed and walked to the bathroom to get the supplies. Hope walked over to the cabinet in the far corner and handed Harley a glass and a bottle of scotch.

"What happened to you?" I asked. Harley shrugged, unscrewing the bottle as she said, matter-of-factly,

"I got stabbed." I decided not to pry. At that moment, Bon came back and handed her the supplies. Harley poured some whiskey on the gauze and dabbed at the wound, barely flinching. When she decided it was clean enough, she threaded the needle and took a deep breath, groaning loudly when the needle pierced the skin. This continued until the wound was closed. Then, she tied the loose thread and took a large gulp of whiskey. None of us would say it but I knew we all thought she was awesome. "Thanks. I guess I owe you an explanation, huh?" I nodded. "Well, those bastards you met before plus a different guy, they got pissed I didn't have their fix. Not my fault my dealer was selling some cheap shit. Coke mostly cut with powdered milk, that's just fucking ridiculous. However, they had already paid in advance. They stabbed me, and when I realised someone fucked with my Baby, I decided to run."

"Your... Baby?" Bon asked, crossing his arms. Harley nodded, pointing at the gun clipped to her belt.

"Who was the other guy chasing you?" Hope murmured, intrigued.

"Evil bastard called Curtis Mitchell." As soon as she said those words, I felt myself going weak.  _He was back._

 


	20. Chapter 20

**December 26th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

Harley left not long after that, not wanting to lead Curtis to me after she found out what had happened. I was sitting silently on the windowsill, twirling a cigarette between my fingers. I could see Bon watching me worriedly yet with a bit of curiosity. I wondered if Curtis had changed. I was an adult and not as easy to manipulate anymore. I'd hoped for years that he was dead or somewhere far away but finding out he wasn't didn't fill me with dread. In fact, a small part of me was relieved. That didn't mean I'd want to see him again.   
"Penny for your thoughts?" Bon murmured, smiling softly.

"Just thinking about the past." I answered, sighing.

"Are you worried he's going to find you?"

"Not really. There's nothing he can do to me now." I paused, contemplating lighting the cigarette. "It's more that... I hate him for what he's done to me but I'm actually relieved to hear he's alive. It's confusing."

"Do you... Do you still have feelings for him?" Bon's voice didn't betray any emotion. However, his whole body tensed and I could tell he was feeling threatened.

"I never did have feelings for him." I mumbled, "I mean, yeah, okay, maybe at first but then I saw what he was really like and... By that time, I was hooked on the drugs he supplied and I couldn't leave."

"Oh." My boyfriend murmured, wrapping his arms around me. "Want to go out somewhere tonight?"

"Like where?" I asked, leaning into his embrace.

"I don't know, we could go see a movie, get something to eat..."

"Mm, sounds nice." I agreed. Bon smiled.

"Hey, I've gotta go, I have some work to do. I'll pick you up at six, okay?"

"Alright. I'll see you later." I smiled and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

"I love you."

"Love you, too." With that, he was gone.

===

At seven, I began getting impatient. He wasn't answering his phone despite me calling numerous times. I was angry at first, deciding instead to have a night in with Hope. However, when he still wouldn't pick up, two hours later, I got worried.

"Hey, I'm going out, I'll be back soon. Call me if you need anything." I told Hope and rushed out the door. The whole way to his house I kept thinking,  _what if he had an accident? What if he's dying in the hospital? What if he is dead?_  Those thoughts were completely unproductive but I couldn't stop them. When I reached his apartment, those thoughts intensified. Knocking on his door, I got no response. I was about to walk away when I decided to try opening it on the off chance he left it unlocked. Indeed, it worked and I walked inside, calling his name. Checking the living room, I saw him slumped against a wall. I ran over, to see him holding his left arm out, as blood dripped onto the floor.

"Oh, God, Bon, what happened?!" I asked, seeing a half-empty scotch bottle on the floor and a used syringe beside it. Immediately, I knew what he'd done. Angrily, I grabbed some tissues from the coffee table and dabbed at his arm, ignoring his whines of pain. When the blood was cleared away slightly, I saw it came from multiple vertical cuts. I sighed deeply, trying to control my emotions. "Can you hear me?" Bon nodded. "When did you start drinking? Before or after the heroin?"

"After." He slurred and I picked him up, propping him up on my shoulder as we walked slowly to the bathroom. "What're you doin'? Wh-where are we goin'?"

"Bathroom." I answered curtly, sitting him down in front of the toilet. "You well enough to do it yourself or do you need me to stick my fingers down your throat?" I wasn't sure if he could fully understand the anger in my voice. Possibly, since he threw up without complaining. I knew that wasn't enough because if he took too much heroin or drank too much, he could die. When he was done, I picked him up again and carried him to the couch, where I propped him up so that, in case he threw up again, he wouldn't choke.

"A-are you mad at m-me?" Bon asked. I shrugged.

"You need to get your stomach pumped."

"I-I'm fine."

"No, you're not." I didn't see any of the usual warning signs of an overdose yet but I knew mixing wasn't good anyway. I just hoped his body didn't absorb much of the alcohol. "When did you start drinking?"

"Half an hour ago." Bon mumbled. I sighed again and glanced at his arm which still hadn't stopped bleeding.

"You need to go to the ER immediately, Bon. You're bleeding out." My  _idiot_ boyfriend glanced at his arm and then at me.

"Don't be mad."

"Shut up, don't talk right now, okay? I'm not mad." I lied, hoping to calm him down for the moment. Grabbing my phone, I dialled 999. When the ambulance was on its way, I tried wrapping a towel around his arm to try to stop the bleeding.

"I love you." Bon murmured before his eyes closed and his head hit the armrest. At that moment, the paramedics arrived. While they took Bon downstairs on a stretcher, another one questioned me.

"What did he take?"

"IV heroin and alcohol. I made him vomit in hopes that not all the alcohol could be absorbed but I only got here about ten minutes ago. I was told it's been at least half an hour. Passed out just now. His name's Bon Scott." The paramedic nodded and wrote it down on his clipboard.

"Are you coming with, sir?"

"What hospital are you taking him to?"

"University College."

"Okay. I'll get there soon." The paramedics left soon after that. I felt my knees going weak and I leaned against a wall, sliding down onto the floor as my adrenaline levels evened out. My breathing was heavy, my pulse was fast and I noticed I was covered in blood. I didn't allow myself to cry. He didn't deserve my tears just yet. I was feeling a lot of emotions but anger stood out the most. Lots of questions were swirling around in my head but I'd only get the answers if he woke up.  _When_ he woke up. I chided myself for thinking the worst as usual and stood up, my legs still weak. Making my way into the kitchen, I saw a bent spoon and lighter on the counter beside a blank piece of paper and a pen. Was he trying to kill himself? Lack of a note said no but mixing opiates with alcohol... A user of both was surely aware of the risks? I bit my lip and tried to scrub off the blood from my arms. There was some on my shirt, too. I didn't even realise I had gotten any on me. I was taking my time, knowing there was nothing I could do for him while he was in the ER. When I was done cleaning my arms, I decided to wipe up the blood on the floor before it stained it permanently. Then, I left his apartment, beginning the rather long walk to the hospital. 

=== 

He woke up three hours after I arrived. We didn't speak for a long time. Bon was avoiding eye contact while I was deliberately staring at him.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked, my voice monotone.

"I lost control, I'm so sorry, I -" Bon said quickly. I cut him off with a dismissive wave.

"I get it. You chose drugs over me."

"That's not why -"

"No. I love you, I do, but I'm not gonna watch you kill yourself." My boyfriend tried speaking but I didn't let him. "You want to end it? Go ahead. But do _not_ make me suffer. Don't make me watch. If drugs and alcohol are better than I am, then fine. At least those won't leave you, right?" I hissed then stood up, grabbing my bag and walking out, leaving him in the hospital, alone and probably brokenhearted.

 


	21. Chapter 21

**December 27th,**

**London, UK**

**Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

I had been sitting on the windowsill again, staring off into the distance. It was raining heavily and I sometimes focused on a droplet, following it with my gaze as it made its way down the window. I had given up, a cigarette in my mouth. I didn't notice Hope walking in at first, lost in thought.

"You alright?" I shrugged, taking a long drag of the smoke. "What happened?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah, seeing as you're my best friend." I sighed, blowing the smoke out.

"I found Bon yesterday, drunk, high and bleeding out."

"Is he back to cutting?" I froze, frowning.

" _Back_?"

"He didn't tell you? He used to cut himself." Hope told me, sitting across from me.

"I didn't notice..."

"He hides it." I sighed again, bringing the cigarette to my mouth. "Did you two argue?"

"I left him." Hope arched an eyebrow.

" _Left_ him?"

"Yes, I ended it. I hope he got that." I mumbled.

"Because he slipped up?!" Hope exclaimed. I turned to face her.

"Whose side are you on?"

"No one's. I'm sorry, I just think you might've overreacted."

"He chose to go on a bender instead of spending time with me," I mumbled, turning away again.

"He's an  _addict,_ it's not his fault!"

"It is his fault, he's the one who couldn't resist drugs."

"Said the man smoking a cigarette." I glared at my friend and pointedly took a long drag. Hope rolled her eyes. "Look, all I'm saying is you should let him explain. Then, you can decide whether to forgive him or not." She stared at me for a while before walking to her room. I contemplated what she said for a while and decided to go talk to him later that day. I still hadn't let myself cry, choosing instead to sulk in silence.   
I wasn't angry anymore, I was just disappointed. I understood that he was an addict but I felt used when he chose addiction over me.

===

Around 5 pm, I walked into the ward he was in to see him shaking, chewing on his lip, with his eyes wide and pupils blown.

"Are you okay?" I asked, angry at myself for letting emotions take over. Bon nodded hesitantly. "Stupid question, I can see you aren't. What's wrong?"

**December 27th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Bon**

I knew he wasn't really there. I knew Angus  _was._ But he was just staring at me in silence, his gaze disapproving. Ang was speaking to me but I couldn't concentrate on him.

"You can't be here." I whispered, terrified. He chuckled maliciously.

"I'm not."

"What?" Ang's voice broke through the fog and I glanced at him briefly.

"I'm sorry, Lee, I'm so sorry."

" _Lee?_ " Ang frowned then seemed to understand. "You're hallucinating." I nodded, taking a deep breath. Angus left the room, presumably to get a doctor, while Lee sat beside me on the bed.

"Babe, I'm not mad... I'm fucking furious." His voice went from calming to angry in a split second. "This is what killed me,  _you_ killed me."

"I didn't m-mean to k-kill you, I swear." I whimpered, jerking my hand away from him when he grabbed it. I knew he was a hallucination yet his touch felt real.

"Then why did you drink? You promised me you'd stop..." I felt my chest tightening and I suddenly couldn't breathe. It took me a few seconds to realise it was because he was choking me. "You killed me, so now I'm gonna kill  _you._ " My vision was darkening and I could feel my heart speed up. When two doctors reached me, Lee disappeared but I still couldn't breathe. I felt the beginning of a seizure before everything went black.

Waking up a few hours later, I saw I was in a different room. At first glance, it was just me, Ang and a doctor but then I saw Lee standing beside the IV stand, holding scissors to the cord. I exhaled and tried to ignore him, focusing on answering the doctor's questions.

"Do you know who you are?" I nodded, "You're going through withdrawal. We've started you on some medication to help manage the symptoms so you might feel a little woozy. Let us know immediately if you experience any new symptoms, okay?" I nodded again and the doctor left, leaving the three -  _two -_ of us alone.

"You came back," I murmured, smiling. Angus sighed.

"Yeah, I did. Only so you could fucking explain." I glanced at Lee who was arching an eyebrow.

"This guy is an asshole, do you actually love him?" I clenched my fists and tried ignoring him.

"Can you still see him?" I heard Angus ask. I nodded and he sighed, reaching over to hold my hand. "Please tell me why."

"I've told you before that I drink too much, right? Well, I was unusually nervous so I had a drink to calm me down, which turned into another and another. And then I found the heroin. Being a bit buzzed, I thought that would've been a good idea. I -"

"No, I get that. But why did you try to kill yourself?"

"I didn't, I swear. After I shot up, I felt like shit about what I did so I thought I deserved to be hurt for hurting you."   
"Oh, you idiot," Ang murmured, walking up to put his arms around me, "You didn't and  _don't_ deserve it. I overreacted because I was so scared and shocked... Hope told me you used to cut... Why didn't you mention it?"

"I didn't want you to think I was pathetic..." I mumbled, looking up at the ceiling.

"Oh, Bonnie, no..." Ang trailed off, holding me tight. "Don't scare me like that again. I'm always here for you, okay?" I nodded, kissing the top of his head.

"Thank you." Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lee glaring at us. I knew it was just the withdrawal and that Lee never would've been like that but it felt real enough to be painful.

"Will you please stop drinking? For me? Hell, do it for  _you._ Look what it's doing to you..."

"I'll do my best. I swear. I -" I can't remember what happened then, because my vision went dark again as my head hit the pillow.

===

**December 27th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Angus**

His second seizure was serious enough for full sedation. They told me his life was at risk. I was sitting silently on the hard, plastic chair, watching his chest rising and falling. Four days of full sedation, I was told, then three days for observation. After that, the most severe stage would be over and then he'd need at least two weeks of rehab. I reached over to hold his head, nearly bursting into tears when it limply rested in mine. Despite how much I wanted to curl up and cry, I knew I had to be strong. For Bon's sake.


	22. Chapter 22

**December 28th,**

**London, UK**

**Vine Street / Skylark Apartments**

**Angus**

"You came back..." He murmured, smirking. I bit my lip, tapping my foot impatiently.

"Yeah, okay, whatever, can you just give me the stuff?"

"I don't have any." He shrugged. I glared at him.

"I know for a fact that you do. I'll pay the full price, I just need one dose." He sighed, reaching into his pocket.

"How much?"

"Fifty." He nodded, handing me a baggie. I dipped a finger inside and rubbed it on my gums. "Oi, I want pure coke, not this cheaply cut shit." I frowned. "Is that  _powdered milk_?! Nuh-uh, asshole, pure, unadulterated cocaine. I'll pay extra."

"It'll be thirty pounds more than usual."

"And when did I ever give a fuck?" I asked, angrily crossing my arms. "I'm not falling for your shit anymore, Curtis. Give me the coke, I'll give you the money and then we never speak again."

"Don't you love me anymore?" Curtis murmured, pouting, as he trailed a hand down my chest. I didn't hide my disgust.

"Don't try that shit with me." I hissed, shoving him away. "Give me the fifty." Curtis sighed, handing me another baggie. Tasting it, I nodded and handed him seventy pounds and turned to leave when he spoke,

"Are you seeing someone?"

"Yes. Not that it's any of your business." I slammed the door on my way out and headed towards my apartment, hoping no one was home. I realised dealing with the help of drugs was hypocritical of me. I just didn't know what to do.

====

Stepping inside, I saw the apartment was empty so I quickly gathered what I needed and locked myself in my room. I poured the contents of the bag onto a mirror and took out a razor from my bedside cabinet. As I cut the coke and made it into a line, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Obviously not but maybe there were other ways of coping? However, when I leaned down with a rolled up note, I decided to take the chance.

"Oh,  _shit!_ " I exclaimed, feeling the rush. Giggling, I fell back onto my bed, feeling happier than I had in weeks. A nagging thought in the back of my mind kept telling me I'd feel two times worse in half an hour but I refused to let that ruin my high. Closing my eyes, I felt euphoric. I didn't care my boyfriend was in the ICU, I didn't care that my brother was in love with me, I just didn't care.

===

Ten minutes into a blissful half an hour, Hope somehow barged into my room. I opened my eyes and grinned at her.

"You're really pretty... Wait, how the fuck did you get in here?" She waved keys at me and I sighed, still grinning.

"What's got you so happy?" I shrugged and she walked up to me, ordering me to look at her. I did, running a hand through my hair. "Fuck, your pupils are dilated as fuck! Are you  _high_?!" I nodded, spreading myself out on my bed.

"Oh, yeah."

"You're such a hypocrite..." Hope's voice was dripping with disappointment. I stared at her.

"You wanna nag at me, wait half an hour. Don't ruin this. It feels good. I need to feel good." I murmured, rolling onto my stomach. My roommate sighed, walking out. I let out a happy groan and put my headphones on, enjoying my high once more.

**December 28th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Bon**

_He was looking at me lovingly, as we sat on the edge of the fountain. His chocolate eyes were shining, reflecting the water. He reached into his pocket, taking out a small, black box. Before he could open it, Ang appeared on the other side of me, smiling as he brushed hair away from my face. I saw he was holding the same box. I bit my lip, seeing Irene standing a few meters away, her hands on her stomach. I realised it was the three most important people in my life. Turning to face Lee again, I saw he had opened the box, revealing a plain, silver ring. A quick glance at Ang showed me the same ring except in gold. I stood up, walking towards Irene. Her hair was blowing around in the soft autumn breeze, a few golden leaves floating around her. I blinked, and a baby had appeared in her arms. It was wrapped in a pink shawl and had soft, blonde curls on its head. Irene smiled, extending her arms towards me to let me hold the baby. I hesitantly picked it up and it cooed, looking up at me. I handed it back to Irene and turned to see both Ang and Lee standing beside me. Lee reached out to hold my hand and the scene morphed into a log cabin, the fireplace crackling and giving off a cozy glow. Lee handed me a mug of hot chocolate and joined me on the floor, cuddling up to me. I let myself enjoy it for a while before I stood up, walking out onto a stage. I saw Angus tuning his guitar in the corner and he grinned at me. I glanced around to see a crowd cheering, and I figured it was for us. I saw a microphone in front of me but when I reached for it, the scene morphed again. I found myself in front of an office building, wearing a suit, my hair cut short and holding a briefcase. I didn't like this scenario. I tried walking away and ended up in a field, rain pouring down. They all appeared in front of me and began chanting,_

_"Come with me, come with me, come with me..."_

_They kept getting louder and louder until I couldn't stand it anymore. I turned away from them and then... Nothing. Darkness. No sounds, no light, nothing. Until... A voice, muffled at first, was whispering unintelligibly. I could make out a few words, however._

_"Please... Love... Sorry..." It was then that I realised I was falling. I tried yelling but I couldn't. My mouth was wide open but my voice didn't work. The last thing I remember was intense fear._


	23. Chapter 23

**December 2** **9** **th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Angus**

The doctors told me he probably couldn't hear me, and if he could, he'd process it differently but that didn't stop me. I kept apologising to him, telling him I loved him and that we'd be okay. It was mostly to reassure me, not him. My head was pounding and all I wanted to do was sleep but I stayed in that uncomfortable chair for hours on end, trying not to blame myself. After I came down from my high, I explained everything to Hope who just hugged me silently. I hoped she understood.

The door to the room opened and I glanced up, seeing a blonde woman walk in.

"Hi, I'm Irene... I'm his, uh..."

"Yeah, I know. He told me." I mumbled, sighing.

"How is he?"

"Stable for the moment."

"That's good." I nodded, sighing. "You're Angus, right?"

"Yeah."

"Take care of him. He needs it." Irene told me, sitting on the other side of him. "I'm sure you can do it better than I ever could."

"I'll do my best." I answered, avoiding eye contact with her. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good." Irene told me, smiling softly. I nodded and silence fell between us. Bon's hand twitched but his eyes didn't open. I knew that if he started to wake, they'd increase his dose because this was an induced coma. I was scared of him waking. I knew that even if he was out of the woods, he'd still crave one more drink, and he'd do anything to get it. I felt his fingers close around mine, weakl _y_  but undeniably and the machine monitoring his brain functions beeped rapidly. A frown was visible on his face and I wondered what was going on in that head of his.

**December 29th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Bon**

_I_ _found myself in a dark_ _room, a ceiling fan spinning slowly above me. It took me a while before I realised I was in an unfamiliar bed. I tried sitting up but my hands were cuffed to the headboard. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw gray curtains hanging limply over a single window. The room smelled of stale cigarette smoke and alcohol and the bed was stripped down, with only a single pillow under my head._

_"Good morning, sunshine." A voice spoke from the floor. I frowned, not quite recognising it._

_"Who are you?"_

_"Don't you remember? Harley." I sighed, following a blade with my eyes._

_"Where are we?"_

_"Fuck if I know. They blindfolded us for the drive here."_

_"Who's 'they'?" I asked, trying to free my hands from the cuffs._

_"Remember the bastards that attacked you and stabbed me?" Harley's voice was monotone, as though none of this bothered her._

_"Did they get Ang?" When she didn't reply, I yanked the cuffs again, naively hoping it'd work._

_"Stop, it's useless, you'll only piss them off." She murmured, her head audibly hitting the wall. The door was pushed open and man in a black mask shoved Angus in._

_"Fuck off, would you? You're pathetic!" My boyfriend snarled which earned him a punch. I felt my blood boil but Angus didn't even flinch. "Kidnapping and abusing my boyfriend and I won't make me love you!"_

_"You used to." The man sighed._

_"No, idiot, I never did, never will. Just let us go, for fuck's sake!" Ang exclaimed angrily but the man just left, locking the door._

_"Stop. It's useless." Harley spoke but Angus ignored her,_ _turning to me._

_"You okay?" I nodded and he sat beside me,_ _unlocking my cuffs. I rubbed the marks on my wrists before sitting up._

_"Where'd you get keys?"_

_"Fucking idiot didn't restrain me when he tried sleeping with me." I clenched my fists but Ang placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I didn't let him, don't worry. I got a few punches in and grabbed the keys from his pocket while he was down."_

_"Why is he doing this?" I asked as Angus went to unlock Harley's handcuffs._

_"He's jealous."_

_"How did he even find us?"_

_"It's my fault. I - I brought him to us."_

_"How the fuck d'you do that?" Harley asked._

**December 2** **9** **th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Angus**

"I bought coke from him." I mumbled, looking down.

"You  _what?!_ " Harley exclaimed, crossing her arms.

"I didn't know how to cope!" I yelled defensively.

"You  _idiot_!"

"Thanks for your support!"

"Shut the hell up, Angus, you screwed up, admit it." I glanced towards the hallway, where Curtis sat, looking at us.

"Fine! I did! Did admitting it change anything?"

"What're you gonna do now?" Harley asked after a while. I shrugged.

"I don't know."

"You could'a bought it from me." Harley murmured. I exhaled, trying to avoid punching her.

"Yeah, should'a, would'a, could'a. Can you  _please_ leave it?" My friend sighed, disappointment on her face as she pursed her lips. I noticed dark bags under her eyes and I frowned. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine, why?" Her voice was weak, though she tried act normal.

"What's wrong?" I asked softly and saw her resolve crumble. Harley aggressively wiped her eyes and looked at me, gaze full of grief.

"I'm, um, I  _was_ -" She paused, taking a deep breath and glancing towards the man waiting outside. "Can we go somewhere else to talk? Somewhere Curtis  _isn't_?"

"Sounds good." I picked up my jacket and gave Bon's hand a squeeze before following Harley out the door and down into the outdoor seating area.

"I was, uh, I was pregnant. It was a mistake, though it was the most cliché mistake - a drunken fling at a party - and when I found out, last month, I was in denial. I kept doing what I used to, that is, drink too much, smoke too much, drugs, risky activities, y'know? And then, my g- my  _friend_ urged me to get myself checked out and when I did..." Harley took a shaky breath, a tear marking her cheek "They told me it had been dead for at least a week. I ignored the signs... Maybe I could've saved it..." I didn't know how to comfort her so I just held her hand.

"It's not your fault..."

"Yes, it is!" She sighed angrily. "I was planning an abortion, but losing it so unexpectedly..."

"I'm sorry you're hurting. I can't imagine what you're going through."

"You don't want to know."

"Maybe it'd help if you told me..." I answered, glancing up at her. "Or, maybe, a counselor?"

"Maybe." She smiled softly and I understood that was the end of that conversation.

"You cheating on your boyfriend?" Curtis' voice resounded from in front of us. I glared at him.

"I'm gay." Harley murmured and I smirked.

"Like me. Not for you, mind."

"Can we talk?" He asked and I sighed, nodding at Harley. She took out a cigarette and gazed off into the distance. Curtis and I walked to the side.

"What do you want?"

"To talk."

"Then talk."

"I love you." I rolled my eyes.

"Is that it?"

"No, I - I wanted to apologize. I treated you like garbage and you didn't deserve it,"

"You're goddamn right I didn't."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"Well, you did. Listen, Curtis. I never wanted to see you again. I had a moment of weakness and I want us to go our own ways again, okay? I don't love you, I love Bon. But I'm warning you, if you so much as go near him, I will kill you." With that, I walked away again and stepped into the hospital, heading for Bon's room, where Harley was already waiting. Sighing, I returned to my position beside him and waited for him to wake up.

 


	24. Chapter 24

**December 29th,**

**London, UK**

**University College Hospital**

**Bon**

I groggily opened my eyes and immediately shut them when a bright light was waved in front of me. I shielded my eyes and heard a woman's voice but I couldn't understand what she was saying. Everything was fuzzy and I just wanted to sleep. Eventually, her voice got clearer and I heard her ask if I knew who I was. I thought about that for a while and tried answering but I couldn't speak.

"Just nod yes or no, you can't speak yet." I hesitantly nodded, vaguely remembering my name. "We just woke you up from a coma, you're in a hospital. Can you move your hands?" I nodded after trying. "Alright, on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel?" I showed the woman, presumably a doctor, five and she smiled softly, leaving the room.

"How're you feeling?" A man asked and I slowly opened my eyes again, adjusting to the light. I saw a tired-looking, curly haired man beside me. Before long, my eyes focused and I saw Angus. I smiled softly, squeezing his hand. "Do you remember me?" He asked worriedly and I rolled my eyes jokingly, nodding. "Irene is outside, do you want to see her?" Now, there was a question. We had agreed on being friends but I'd just woken up from a coma and I wasn't sure I was ready for her yelling at me for being an idiot, which I was certain would happen so I shook my head. Angus glanced outside at the corridor and bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. I wanted to ask what was wrong but I couldn't. Angus must've seen my worried gaze and he flashed me a small smile. "Everything's fine, don't worry. Um, Harley wants to see you too, is that okay?" I nodded, wondering what she was doing here. I liked her but we only talked twice before. She walked in and gave Ang a hug, with him rubbing her back. I tried to suppress feelings of jealousy but Harley seemed to know.

"Ang, you mind?" She said and Angus gave my hand a last squeeze before leaving. "How're you holding up?" I shrugged, watching her take a seat beside me. "Why'd you do it?"

"You k-know I have a- a drinking problem." I croaked, coughing.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd be so stupid, mixing one drug with another!" Harley exclaimed angrily.

"I was drunk and wasn't thinking." I murmured. Harley sighed.

"So, okay, you didn't try to kill yourself with drugs, but what about this?" She picked up my arm as she said so, reminding me of the deep cuts I'd made. I was embarrassed, realising how stupid everything I did was.

"I - I don't have an excuse. I didn't want to kill myself but I have no excuse." Harley scoffed, running a hand through her electric blue hair. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to your poor boyfriend who hasn't had a full night's sleep since you landed in here. Apologize to  _yourself_." I nodded and Harley gave me a clap on the shoulder before walking out, her boots squeaking on the linoleum. A man with short, spiky bleached hair walked in, a malicious grin on his face. Before I could ask who he was, he'd had his arms around my neck. I knew it wasn't a hallucination when, as I was slowly drifting away, Angus burst in and screamed at him to let me go.

"He's in the way of our love!" The man answered, tightening his grip. My boyfriend was trying to pull him away from me, unsuccessfully since the attacker was much taller than both of us.

"Oi! Fucker!" Harley shouted, hitting him in the back of the head with a heavy-looking book. The man loosened his grip, momentarily dazed. He glared at Harley and then at Angus.

"I don't love you, Curtis. Killing him won't help your situation."

"You're just... Confused... You love me, not him."

"Right, Curtis, two options," Harley announced, her hands ready to pull her gun from the waistband of her jeans. "You leave right now and let them be, and I don't hurt you more than the concussion I just gave you  _or_ you can keep harassing them and you'll leave here on a gurney, a bullet in your brain."

"Like you could shoot  _me._ " Curtis chuckled. Harley pointed her gun at him.

"You testing me?" At that moment, two security guards walked in and cuffed Curtis. I took a gasping breath, feeling weak. As soon as Curtis was safely outside, Angus fell onto a chair, head in his hands. For a long while, none of us spoke, until Harley clicked her gun onto safe. She glanced at me and I nodded silently, signalling I was okay.

"You  _owe_ me, this is the second time I saved your ass."

"Thanks." I mumbled, sitting up despite feeling dizzy. Rubbing my eyes, I tried calming my breathing as Harley silently walked out into the hallway. "Love, are you okay?" I asked. Seeing him so vulnerable and broken was more painful than the craving for a drink I'd realised I was feeling. Ang just nodded, silent. Sighing, I lay back down and stared at the ceiling, the only sound in the silence being the heart monitor beeping steadily.

\---

A while later, I felt Ang's hand grip mine and I turned my head to see him smiling sadly, eyes red.

"I've gotta ask you something, Bon, okay?" I nodded. "Are you willing to go to rehab? To get help?" I stared at him in silence for a while before answering,

"Of course, love. I need it, don't I?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you do." He whispered, looking down. We didn't speak after that, sitting together in silence, lost in thought. Ever since we met, our lives were messy and confusing but I knew that, in the end, we'd be okay. We'd bounce back, stronger than before, for each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel title and release date: 'Smile' - 23/12/2015


End file.
